She gave a long sigh, turned away from him, leaned her arm against the
side of the fireplace, and laid her old face against the arm and began
to cry helplessly. It was the most pitiful sight imaginable, and yet
he could do nothing to comfort her, dared not even go near her. In
a dim, forlorn fashion he seemed to see passing before him all that
had happened in that very room--the riotous feasts, when he had been
a child--the sound of merry laughter; he even seemed to see himself
as he had once stood on the table, singing a foolish song, with the
captain watching him silently; he could hear his own childish treble,
could feel again the old woman's hand grasping his ankle. And now the
room was empty and the generous-hearted old creature, the giver of the
feast, who had craved only for his love in return for all her bounty,
was crying hopelessly over her shattered idol.
Presently she ceased her weeping and turned upon him with a certain sad
fierceness of manner. "Have I ever denied you anything, boy? Was I so
much in your way or had you given me so little of your love that you
must long for the time when you could step into possession? O God! for
the dream I have lost! Why, you're worse than any murderer--for the
things you have killed in me to-night! I honestly believe that that is
the unpardonable sin--to kill some trusting fellow-creature's belief in
you."
"Don't, don't!" he cried; "you'll break my heart!"
"And what of mine; did you think nothing of that? I swear to you that
if you had come to me and had told me that you were in want or in
difficulties I'd have helped you if I'd had to mortgage everything I
possessed. Your income has been a large one; it passes my comprehension
to know what you've done with the money; I'm quite afraid to think.
However, that's all done with; I'll never believe in any human creature
again. I believed in you with all my heart and soul; I saw in you, or
thought I did, something better and truer than in any one else. Now I
find my mistake. Thinking over it now, I see what a fool I've been. I
remember those days on the Continent when we were travelling about, and
when your money went more rapidly than I could put it in your hands.
I didn't mind then; I thought you didn't know the value of it, but
would learn in time. Now your chance to learn is gone. You and I part
to-night!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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