He stood there dumb, knowing that he could say nothing to her, knowing
that he dare not plead for himself. Indeed, he did not think of himself
at that time; he found himself dimly wondering what was to become of
'Linda when this last sum of money was exhausted. He had never foreseen
such a crisis as this. The fashion in which he had supplied Brian and
his father with funds, beginning as it had done in his boyhood, had
grown to be such a natural thing that he had ceased to be surprised
at it, or, indeed, to think about it very much at all. He put himself
clearly and quietly outside the question; his heart only ached
desperately for this old woman who was destined to be left alone again
after all these years, despite all her goodness to him. He stood still
for a few moments watching her, and then turned quietly and went toward
the door.
She called after him: "Have you nothing to say to me?"
He came back slowly. "Oh, my dear," he said in a broken voice, "what
shall I say to you? To thank you for all that you've done, all that I
seem so shamefully to have misused, would sound like a mockery. After
all, all that you say is good and fair and just; I have lied to you
and deceived you and broken my bargain; I can't say anything more than
that. Deep as my gratitude is, I wish--O God, how much I wish!--that
you had left me as you found me when I was a little child. I suppose I
wasn't fit or strong enough to take the position you meant for me."
"I suppose not. And you won't tell me what you've done with all this
money?"
"No, I can't tell you that," he replied. Before him again he seemed to
see the face of 'Linda--'Linda, whose fool's paradise he had created,
and who lived in it contentedly, knowing nothing of what it was founded
upon. In his own steadfast, single-hearted way he knew that that secret
must be kept, and kept to the end for her sake.
"Well, if you won't, you won't," said the old woman, with a sudden
return of her hardness of manner. "I suppose it doesn't matter now.
But, since you refuse all explanations, so I refuse to have anything
to do with you further, or with any trouble you have created. You
have borrowed this money under the belief that you were my heir, but
you've reckoned without me. Here, to-night, under the very roof where
I first gave you all your honours, I strip them from you. Those who
lent you the money may get it back as they can; I'll encourage no
such business as that. I'll warrant they'll pull long faces when they
find they've been misled. Yes, I strip everything from you. The boy
I loved, the Prince Charming I worshipped, is dead--never has been
at all. Another--a creature I don't know and don't understand, a
stranger to me--has taken his place. Prince Charming has gone--God help
me!--forever."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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