Now that gives us an average of a Pint and a Half every six days,
not counting Sunday where the Pro Rata really increases. Now figure
the seating capacity of the Theatre and you arrive at just what our
Proposition will yield in a good solid commodity.
Of course, this thing is too big for me to handle personally. I can,
myself, disrobe, after every Show, one Theatre and perhaps a Church on
Sunday. But to make it National I have to form it into a Trust. We will
call it the “Remodeled Chewing Gum Corporation.”
Don’t call it Second Hand; there is no Dignity in that name. If we say
“remodeled” why every Bird in America falls for that.
Of course, it is my idea ultimately after we have assembled more than
we can use for Concrete and Tires and Rubber Boots to get a Press of
some kind and mash it up in different and odd shapes.
(You know there is nothing that takes at a Dinner like some Popular
Juice Flavor to our Remodeled and overhauled Product. I would suggest
Wood Alcohol. That would combine two Industries into one.)
I want to put flavors in there where we can take some of this colossal
trade away from these Plutocratic Top Booted Gentlemen. If we can
get just enough of this Wood Alcohol into our reassembled Gum to make
them feel it and still not totally destroy our Customer we will have
improved on the Modern Bootlegger as he can only sell to the same man
once.
Now, Gentlemen and Ladies, you have my proposition. Get in early on,
“Old Gum made as good as New.” Think of the different brands that would
be popular, “Peruna Flavor Gum,” “Jamaica Ginger Gum,” “Glover’s Mange
Gum,” “Lysol Gum.”
It looks like a great proposition to me. It will be the only Industry
in the World where all we have to do is to just pick it up, already
made, and flavor it.
I am going to put this thing up to my friend, Henry Ford. Think, with
no overhead, how he could keep the Cost down. It’s a better proposition
than being President.
INSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSE
[Illustration: THE MORE GLASSES YOU USED THE MORE ECLIPSE YOU COULD
SEE.]
INSIDE STUFF ON THE TOTAL ECLIPSE
Well, I have just this minute returned from Tia Juana, Mexico, where
I along with some thousands of other Scientists went to observe the
Total Eclipse. That is that was their excuse for going. You know it
don’t take much excuse to get a man, or Woman either, to go to Mexico
nowadays. So when the Scientists said that Los Angeles was only to get
a 99 percent Eclipse, (That is about the only thing I ever knew Los
Angeles to fall down on. They are generally 100 percent) it kinder hurt
their pride. It was the first time that Nature had ever handed them a
mere 99.
I don’t really think they would have ever gotten over it but San
Francisco only received some 85 or 90 percent so that kinder salved
things over.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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