Then I have an economy measure to recommend me. The Government is putting into commission the Leviathan, our biggest Ship, and I could, by entertaining on the Boat going over, save passage fee. I could arrange a Monologue on, “The Benefits and Accomplishments of Prohibition,” and, as we passed the three mile limit, I could start in delivering it and perhaps relieve, or rather add to, the dryness of the trip. We would have to explain this to the Farmers of the country so they would not think the ship was getting this feature for nothing. It could not be considered as Ship Subsidy. Now the feature that I feel rather modest about referring to, but which is really my principal asset, is my being able to wear Silk Knee Breeches--not only wear them, but what I mean, look like something in them. It seems that the Lord instead of distributing my very few good points around as he does on most homely men, why, he just placed all of mine from the knee down. Now that this thing has come over there, it almost seems like I was inspired for the part. Say, I can put on those silk Rompers and clean up. Now I don’t like to grab off a Guy’s job by knocking him, but you know we haven’t had a decent looking leg over there in years. Now Harvey’s! Oh, but what’s the use of arguing? You know you can’t stay in the Follies 7 years on nothing. Well, it wasn’t my good looks. So what was it but my Shape? That brings us down to Golf. Now I will have to admit that my political education has been sadly neglected as I have never walked over many green pastures. Horses are too cheap for a man to spend half his life walking over the country looking for holes in the ground. But as I understand this lack of Golf will not handicap me in England as it would over here, as Mr. Volstead has not percolated into that land and the game is still fought out at the 19th hole. And, if I do say it myself, I do talk a corking Game of Golf. Then another thing, in looking over the results of the last two International Golf Tournaments I don’t think they play the game there at all. Now, Mr. President, if this suggestion receives the consideration that I think it deserves, I should like to get the appointment at once, as I want to get over there before all the king’s Children are married. If one can’t attend a royal marriage, why, their ambassadorship has been a failure as far as publicity is concerned for that event is the World’s Series of England. Now, if you can’t send me there, don’t, just because I have criticized some of the feminine members of official life in Washington, don’t, for the Lord’s sake, send me to Chile or Honduras or some of the outlandish places. I will even promise to hush rather than that. Now, as to Salary, I will do just the same as the rest of the Politicians--accept a small salary as pin Money, AND TAKE A CHANCE ON WHAT I CAN GET. Awaiting an early reply, I remain