Q--You felt that you had taught him all you knew. Did you bring the Banjo out here with you? A--Oh, yes I have it; I will bring it over now and Show you how I play. Q--Never mind bringing it over now or any other time. We will drop the Banjo until some time you feel you want a change of jobs. You can take it over to Medill McCormicks and teach him. He could at least amuse the other Senators with it and perhaps make you Editor of the Tribune. Now to get back to Criticing. What makes a Dramatic Critic? A--Two Free Seats a Night on the Isle. Q--Is it true that it is the only business in the World with absolutely no qualifications? A--Yes; next to being a comedian with a Ziegfeld Show its the only thing that requires no training. Q--Is it true that Dyspepsia is necessary to being a Critic? A--Yes; its more prevalent now since the Movies come in. Q--Don’t you think that Prohibition has lowered the Standard of Dramatic Criticism? A--Yes; among those that didn’t look ahead and supply, I think that to be true. Q--They still train on Scotch, don’t they? A--Well, they are not as well trained as they used to be. Q--Don’t you find a great many people that think they are Critics? A--Yes, but I find very few that get paid for it. Q--Do you believe in constructive Criticism? A--No; I believe in entertaining Criticism. Q--Do you get many letters kicking on your opinion? A--Oh, yes; quite a few. Q--In that way you can tell just how many read it, can’t you? I read where three out of four of every newspaper started failed. What percentage of dramatic Criticisms do you think is responsible for this failure? A--I don’t know; I was never on a failing paper. Q--That’s pretty good; that’s a Nifty. Now you Critics having never tried it, you don’t realize just how hard it is to be an Actor? A--Yes, the more plays we see the more we realize it. Q--Now, you say you have worked for Mr. Hearst twenty-five years for teaching him the Banjo. What instrument did Brisbane teach him and do you think I could interest him in a Base Drum? I hammer a mean Blues on one of those things. A--You might snare him with that. It takes two heads to make a drum. * * * * * Now, Dear Readers--both of you--if this little interview has made you feel more kindly toward the Dramatic Critics, and has brought their overworked profession to the high standards to which I have tried to honestly picture them, my work will not have been in vain. “THE WORLD TOMORROW,” AFTER THE MANNER OF GREAT JOURNALISTS. “THE WORLD TOMORROW,” AFTER THE MANNER OF GREAT JOURNALISTS.[B]