The time that had passed since he began the experiment with the
Professor's mirror now filled Vane with horror. The life that had seemed
so splendid, so triumphant to him a short while ago, now presented
itself to him as despicable, mean, hateful. Now that he had safely
ousted the soul of Reginald Hart he loathed the things that, under the
dominance of that soul, he had done. The quick feeling of success that
he had expected from his adventure into the realm of the mind was not
his at all; his emotions were mixed, and in that mixture hatred of
himself was uppermost. It was true: he had succeeded. The thoughts, the
deeds of another man had become his thoughts, his deeds. The entire
point of view had been, for the time, changed. But, where he had
expected to keep the outland spirit in subjection, it was the reverse
that had happened; the usurping soul had been in positive dominance; he
had been carried along relentlessly by the desires and the reflections
of that other.
The fact that he knew, now, to the very letter, the mind that animated
that fellow, Reginald Hart, was small consolation to him. The odium of
that reputation was inescapably his, Orson Vane's. Oh, the things he had
said,--and thought,--and done! He had not expected that any man's mind
could be so horrible as that. He thought of the visitation he had
conjured upon himself, and so thinking, shuddered. How was he ever to
elude the contempt that his masquerade, if he could call it so, would
bring him?
Above all, that scene with Miss Vanlief came back to him with a bitter
pang. What did it profit him, now, to fathom the foul depths of Reginald
Hart's mind concerning any ever so girlish creature? It was he, Orson
Vane, for all that it was possible to explain to the contrary, who had
phrased Miss Vanlief's beauty in such abominable terms.
Consternation sat on his face like a cloud. He could think of no way out
of the dark alley into which he had put himself.
Each public appearance of his now had its tortures. Men who had
respected him now avoided him; women to whom he had once condescended
were now on an aggravating plane of intimacy. Sometimes he could almost
feel himself being pointed out on the street.
The mental and physical reaction was beginning to trace itself on his
face. He feared his Florentine mirrors now almost as much as the
Professor's. The blithe poise had left him. He brooded a good deal. His
insight into another nature than his own filled him with a sense of
distaste for the human trend toward evil.
He spent some weeks away from town, merely to pick up his health again.
His strength returned a little, but the joy of life came back but
tardily.
On his first day in town he met Moncreith. There was an ominous wrinkle
gathering in the other's forehead, but Vane braved all chance of a
rebuff.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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