The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious PeopleWilde, Oscar
Science
The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People
Wilde, Oscar
Comedy plays; England -- Drama; Foundlings -- Drama; Identity (Psychology) -- Drama
CHASUBLE.
Admirably! Admirably! [Takes out watch.] And now, dear Mr. Worthing, I
will not intrude any longer into a house of sorrow. I would merely beg
you not to be too much bowed down by grief. What seem to us bitter
trials are often blessings in disguise.
MISS PRISM.
This seems to me a blessing of an extremely obvious kind.
[Enter Cecily from the house.]
CECILY.
Uncle Jack! Oh, I am pleased to see you back. But what horrid clothes
you have got on! Do go and change them.
MISS PRISM.
Cecily!
CHASUBLE.
My child! my child! [Cecily goes towards Jack; he kisses her brow in a
melancholy manner.]
CECILY.
What is the matter, Uncle Jack? Do look happy! You look as if you had
toothache, and I have got such a surprise for you. Who do you think is
in the dining-room? Your brother!
JACK.
Who?
CECILY.
Your brother Ernest. He arrived about half an hour ago.
JACK.
What nonsense! I haven’t got a brother.
CECILY.
Oh, don’t say that. However badly he may have behaved to you in the
past he is still your brother. You couldn’t be so heartless as to
disown him. I’ll tell him to come out. And you will shake hands with
him, won’t you, Uncle Jack? [Runs back into the house.]
CHASUBLE.
These are very joyful tidings.
MISS PRISM.
After we had all been resigned to his loss, his sudden return seems to
me peculiarly distressing.
JACK.
My brother is in the dining-room? I don’t know what it all means. I
think it is perfectly absurd.
[Enter Algernon and Cecily hand in hand. They come slowly up to Jack.]
JACK.
Good heavens! [Motions Algernon away.]
ALGERNON.
Brother John, I have come down from town to tell you that I am very
sorry for all the trouble I have given you, and that I intend to lead a
better life in the future. [Jack glares at him and does not take his
hand.]
CECILY.
Uncle Jack, you are not going to refuse your own brother’s hand?
JACK.
Nothing will induce me to take his hand. I think his coming down here
disgraceful. He knows perfectly well why.
CECILY.
Uncle Jack, do be nice. There is some good in every one. Ernest has
just been telling me about his poor invalid friend Mr. Bunbury whom he
goes to visit so often. And surely there must be much good in one who
is kind to an invalid, and leaves the pleasures of London to sit by a
bed of pain.
JACK.
Oh! he has been talking about Bunbury, has he?
CECILY.
Yes, he has told me all about poor Mr. Bunbury, and his terrible state
of health.
JACK.
Bunbury! Well, I won’t have him talk to you about Bunbury or about
anything else. It is enough to drive one perfectly frantic.
ALGERNON.
Of course I admit that the faults were all on my side. But I must say
that I think that Brother John’s coldness to me is peculiarly painful.
I expected a more enthusiastic welcome, especially considering it is
the first time I have come here.
CECILY.
Uncle Jack, if you don’t shake hands with Ernest I will never forgive
you.
JACK.
Never forgive me?
CECILY.
Never, never, never!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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