ALGERNON. Quite so. So I know my constitution can stand it. If you are not quite sure about your ever having been christened, I must say I think it rather dangerous your venturing on it now. It might make you very unwell. You can hardly have forgotten that some one very closely connected with you was very nearly carried off this week in Paris by a severe chill. JACK. Yes, but you said yourself that a severe chill was not hereditary. ALGERNON. It usen’t to be, I know—but I daresay it is now. Science is always making wonderful improvements in things. JACK. [Picking up the muffin-dish.] Oh, that is nonsense; you are always talking nonsense. ALGERNON. Jack, you are at the muffins again! I wish you wouldn’t. There are only two left. [Takes them.] I told you I was particularly fond of muffins. JACK. But I hate tea-cake. ALGERNON. Why on earth then do you allow tea-cake to be served up for your guests? What ideas you have of hospitality! JACK. Algernon! I have already told you to go. I don’t want you here. Why don’t you go! ALGERNON. I haven’t quite finished my tea yet! and there is still one muffin left. [Jack groans, and sinks into a chair. Algernon still continues eating.] ACT DROP THIRD ACT SCENE Morning-room at the Manor House. [Gwendolen and Cecily are at the window, looking out into the garden.] GWENDOLEN. The fact that they did not follow us at once into the house, as any one else would have done, seems to me to show that they have some sense of shame left. CECILY. They have been eating muffins. That looks like repentance. GWENDOLEN. [After a pause.] They don’t seem to notice us at all. Couldn’t you cough? CECILY. But I haven’t got a cough. GWENDOLEN. They’re looking at us. What effrontery! CECILY. They’re approaching. That’s very forward of them. GWENDOLEN. Let us preserve a dignified silence. CECILY. Certainly. It’s the only thing to do now. [Enter Jack followed by Algernon. They whistle some dreadful popular air from a British Opera.] GWENDOLEN. This dignified silence seems to produce an unpleasant effect. CECILY. A most distasteful one. GWENDOLEN. But we will not be the first to speak. CECILY. Certainly not. GWENDOLEN. Mr. Worthing, I have something very particular to ask you. Much depends on your reply. CECILY. Gwendolen, your common sense is invaluable. Mr. Moncrieff, kindly answer me the following question. Why did you pretend to be my guardian’s brother? ALGERNON. In order that I might have an opportunity of meeting you. CECILY. [To Gwendolen.] That certainly seems a satisfactory explanation, does it not? GWENDOLEN. Yes, dear, if you can believe him. CECILY. I don’t. But that does not affect the wonderful beauty of his answer.