The Imported Bridegroom, and Other Stories of the New York GhettoCahan, Abraham
General
The Imported Bridegroom, and Other Stories of the New York Ghetto
Cahan, Abraham
Jews -- New York (State) -- New York -- Fiction; United States -- Emigration and immigration -- Fiction
"But the Russian police will arrest you for stayin' away so long.
Didn't you say they would?"
"The kernel of a hollow nut!" he replied, extemporizing an equivalent
of "Fiddlesticks!" Flora was used to his metaphors, although they were
at times rather vague, and set one wondering how they came into his
head at all. "The kernel of a hollow nut! Show a _treif_[2] gendarme a
_kosher_[3] coin, and he will be shivering with ague. Long live the
American dollar!"
[2] Food not prepared according to the laws of Moses; impure.
[3] The opposite of _treif_.
She gave him a prolonged, far-away look, and said, peremptorily:--
"Mister, you ain' goin' nowheres."
"Tamara, hand me my Psalter, will you?" the old man grumbled.
When the girl was gone, the housekeeper inquired:--
"And Flora--will you take her along?"
"What for? That she might make fun of our ways there, or that the
pious people should point their fingers at her and call her Gentile
girl, hey? She will stay with you and collect rent. I did not have her
in Pravly, and I want to be there as I used to. I feel like taking a
peep at the graves of my folks. It is pulling me by the heart,
Tamara," he added, in a grave undertone, as he fell to turning over
the leaves of his Psalter.
II
When Asriel Stroon had retired from business, he suddenly grew fearful
of death. Previously he had had no time for that. What with his flour
store, two bakeries, and some real estate, he had been too busy to
live, much less to think of death. He had never been seen at the
synagogue on week-days; and on the Sabbath, when, enveloped in his
praying-shawl, he occupied a seat at the East Wall, he would pass the
time drowsing serenely and nodding unconscious approval of the
cantor's florid improvisations, or struggling to keep flour out of
his mind, where it clung as pertinaciously as it did to his long
Sabbath coat.
The first sermon that failed to lull him to sleep was delivered by a
newly landed preacher, just after Asriel had found it more profitable
to convert his entire property into real estate. The newcomer dwelt,
among other things, upon the fate of the wicked after death and upon
their forfeited share in the World to Come. As Asriel listened to the
fiery exhortation it suddenly burst upon him that he was very old and
very wicked. "I am as full of sins as a watermelon is of seeds," he
said to himself, on coming out of the synagogue. "You may receive
notice to move at any time, Asriel. And where is your baggage? Got
anything to take along to the other world, as the preacher said, hey?"
Alas! he had been so taken up with earthly title deeds that he had
given but little thought to such deeds as would entitle him to a
"share in the World to Come;" and while his valuable papers lay secure
between the fireproof walls of his iron safe, his soul was left
utterly exposed to the flames of Sheol.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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