The Imported Bridegroom, and Other Stories of the New York GhettoCahan, Abraham
General
The Imported Bridegroom, and Other Stories of the New York Ghetto
Cahan, Abraham
Jews -- New York (State) -- New York -- Fiction; United States -- Emigration and immigration -- Fiction
Rouvke enrolled in a public evening school for immigrants, and when he
had achieved the wisdom of piecing together the letters in "cat,"
"rat," "mat," of the First Reader, he one afternoon bought a
newspaper, and applied himself to looking for an advertisement of some
physician who would undertake to remove the footprints of smallpox.
He had an idea that the papers contained kindred advertisements. The
undertaking proved a failure, however, for Rouvke could detect in the
paper neither "cat" nor "rat," while the other words only swam before
his eyes. And his heart was "stretching" and "stretching."
It would be unfair to Rouvke, however, to ascribe his attending
evening school to the sole purpose of being able to make out a medical
advertisement. His chief motive therefor was twofold: In the first
place, he would often say to himself: "Robert, bear in mind that you
are Rouvke no longer; the chances are that in a year or two you may
open a peddler's supply-store of your own: now, you know that the
owner of a store who cannot read and write is in danger of being
robbed by his bookkeeper." In the second place, his "stretching" heart
seemed to whisper: "Robert, remember those ladies have nothing but
sneers for a gentleman who does not know how to read a newspaper."
Moreover, those of his fellow peddlers who had studied the Talmud in
Russia, and having, therefore, some mental training, found no trouble
in picking up some crumbs of broken English in its written form,
would often rally him on the "iron head" he must possess to retain
the ponderous load of the addresses and accounts of his numerous
customers without committing them to writing. These pleasantries
pierced Rouvke to the heart; but the pain they gave him was not half
so cruel as his moral pangs at the jokes which were showered at him on
the subject of his shyness in the presence of ladies. Often he would
be entrapped into the company of a "nearly American-born" daughter of
Israel; but a still more frequent prank at his expense was for a
facetious fellow to drag him out to the middle of the floor in a
peddler-supply store, and to force him into a waltz, or to jestingly
measure his legs, by way of ascertaining their potential adroitness in
a dancing-hall. "Eh, Robert!" they would torment him, "buy a teecket
for a ball, veel you? A ball fi'sht clesh, I tell you. Come, ven the
laddas veel shee you, dey veel get shtuck--in de co'ners." Robert
would struggle, scream, swear, and, after all, steal up to the front
of the looking-glass. And his heart would be "stretching" and
"stretching."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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