The Impudent Comedian, & OthersMoore, Frank Frankfort
History
The Impudent Comedian, & Others
Moore, Frank Frankfort
Celebrities -- Fiction; Great Britain -- History -- 18th century -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Short stories
When, after politely rapping at the door of the parlour, the three
entered the room, they found the great actress in precisely the same
attitude she had assumed for her last visitor. The dignity of her
posture was not without its effect upon the young men. They were not
quite so self-confident as they had been outside the door. Each of them
looked at the other, so to speak; but somehow none of the three appeared
to be fluent. They stood bowing politely, keeping close to the door.
“Who are these persons?” said Mrs. Siddons, as if uttering her thoughts.
“Am I in a civilised country or not?”
“Madam,” said Blake, finding his voice, at last, when a slur was cast
upon his country. “Madam, Ireland was the home of civilisation when the
inhabitants of England were prowling the woods naked, except for a coat
of paint.”
Mrs. Siddons sprang to her feet.
“Sir,” she cried, “you are indelicate as well as impertinent. You have
no right to intrude upon me without warning.”
“The urgency of our mission is our excuse, madam,” said Blake. “The fact
is, madam, to come to the point, the gentleman who visited you just now
is our friend.”
“Your friend, sir, is a scoundrel. He grossly insulted me,” said Mrs.
Siddons.
“Ah,'t is sorry I am to find you do n't yet understand the impulses of a
warmhearted nation, madam,” said Blake, shaking his head. “The gentleman
came to compliment you on your acting, and yet you drove him from
your door like a hound. That, according to our warmhearted Irish ways,
constitutes an offence that must be washed out in blood--ay, blood,
madam.”
“What can be your meaning, sir?”
“I only mean, madam, that your husband, whom we all honour on account of
the genius--we do n't deny it--the genius and virtue of his wife, will
have to meet the most expert swordsman in Ireland in the Phonix Park
in the morning, and that Sarah Siddons will be a widow before breakfast
time.”
There was a pause before there came a cry of anguish more pitiful than
any expression of emotion that the three youths had ever heard.
“My husband!” were the words that sounded like a sob in their ears.
Mrs. Siddons had averted her head. Her face was buried in her hands.
The wink in which Jimmy Blake indulged as he gave Moriarty a nudge was
anything but natural.
“Why was I ever tempted to come to this country?” cried the lady wildly.
“Madam, we humbly sympathise with you, and with the country,” said
Blake. He would not allow any reflection to be cast on his country.
She took a few steps toward the three young men, and faced them with
clasped hands. She looked into the three faces in turn, with passionate
intreaty in her eyes. “Have you no pity?” she faltered.
“Yes,” said Blake, “that we have; we do pity you heartily, madam.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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