_Y. Mir._ Hold, hold, madam, not so fast--As you have variety of vanities to make coxcombs of us; so we have vows, oaths, and protestations, of all sorts and sizes, to make fools of you--And this, in short, my dear creature, is our present condition. I have sworn, and lied, briskly, to gain my ends of you; your ladyship has patched and painted violently, to gain your ends of me; but, since we are both disappointed, let us make a drawn battle, and part clear on both sides. _Oriana._ With all my heart, sir! give me up my contract, and I'll never see your face again. _Y. Mir._ Indeed, I won't, child! _Oriana._ What, sir! neither do one nor t'other? _Y. Mir._ No, you shall die a maid, unless you please to be otherwise, upon my terms. _Oriana._ What do you intend by this, sir? _Y. Mir._ Why, to starve you into compliance;--lookye, you shall never marry any man; and you had as good let me do you a kindness as a stranger. _Oriana._ Sir, you're a---- _Y. Mir._ What am I, ma'am? _Oriana._ A villain, sir. _Y. Mir._ I'm glad on't--I never knew an honest fellow in my life, but was a villain upon these occasions. Han't you drawn yourself, now, into a very pretty dilemma? ha! ha! ha! the poor lady has made a vow of virginity, when she thought of making a vow to the contrary. Was ever poor woman so cheated into chastity? _Oriana._ Sir, my fortune is equal to yours, my friends as powerful, and both shall be put to the test, to do me justice. _Y. Mir._ What! you'll force me to marry you, will ye? _Oriana._ Sir, the law shall. _Y. Mir._ But the law can't force me to do any thing else, can it? _Oriana._ Pshaw, I despise thee--Monster! _Y. Mir._ Kiss and be friends, then--Don't cry, child, and you shall have your sugar plumb--Come, madam, d'ye think I could be so unreasonable as to make you fast all your life long! No, I did but jest, you shall have your liberty--here, take your contract, and give me mine. _Oriana._ No, I won't. _Y. Mir._ Eh! What, is the girl a fool? _Oriana._ No, sir, you shall find me cunning enough to do myself justice; and since I must not depend upon your love, I'll be revenged, and force you to marry me, out of spite. _Y. Mir._ Then I'll beat thee out of spite, and make a most confounded husband! _Oriana._ O, sir, I shall match ye! A good husband makes a good wife at any time. _Y. Mir._ I'll rattle down your china about your ears. _Oriana._ And I'll rattle about the city, to run you in debt for more. _Y. Mir._ I'll tear the furbelow off your clothes, and when you swoon for vexation, you shan't have a penny, to buy a bottle of hartshorn. _Oriana._ And you, sir, shall have hartshorn in abundance. _Y. Mir._ I'll keep as many mistresses as I have coach horses. _Oriana._ And I'll keep as many gallants as you have grooms. _Y. Mir._ But, sweet madam, there is such a thing as a divorce!