DEAR NED—May the best of blessings be yours in life and in death, while the sweet sensations of real genuine disinterested friendship rules every power of your mind body and soul. I can only say I wish you was as much captivated with sincere friendship as I am but we all know our own feelings best—Friendship those best of names, affection those sweetest power like some powerful charm that overcomes the mind—I could write much on this subject but I dare not trust you with what I could say much as I esteem you—You would consider it as unmanly and quite effeminate, and having already proved what human nature is I must conceal even those emotions of love which I feel. I wish I had the honor of being loved by you as much and in as great a degree as I do you. Sometimes the painful thought of a separation overpowers me, many are now trying at it but last night I told the persons that called on me that let them insinuate what they would I would never sacrifice my dear Ned to the shrine of any other friend upon earth—and that them who did not like him, should have none of my company at all. I find dear Ned many are using all their power to part us but I hope it will prove in vain on your side the effect that all this has upon me is to make me love you ten times more than ever, I wish opposition may have the same effect upon you in this particular but I fear not. however I am confident if you love me now or at any other time my heart will ever be set upon you nor can I ever forget you till death. Your leaving of me will break my heart, bring down my poor mind with sorrow to the grave and wring from my eyes the briny tears, while my busy meddling memory will call to remembrance the few pleasant hours we spent together. I picture to my imagination the affecting scene the painful thought, I must close the affecting subject ’tis more than my feelings are able to bear—My heart is full, my mind is sunk, I shall be better when I have vented out my grief. Stand fast my dearest Ned to me I shall to you whether you do to me or no, and may we be pardoned, justified, and brought more to the knowledge of Christ. O help me to sing— When thou my righteous Judge shall come To fetch thy ransom’d people home, May I among them stand, Let such a worthless worm as I, That sometimes am afraid to die, Be found at thy right hand. I love to meet amongst them now, Before thy gracious feet to bow, Tho’ vilest of them all; But can I bear the piercing thought, What if my name should be left out, When thou for them should call. Learn these two verses by heart and then I will write two more, as they are expressions of mind fears sensations and desires—I must close, I long to see your dear face again, I long for Sunday morning till then God bless you. 3d March, 1809.