The Infernal MarriageDisraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
General
The Infernal Marriage
Disraeli, Benjamin, Earl of Beaconsfield
Gods, Roman -- Fiction; Satire, English
‘Oh! quite irresistible.’
‘My heart misgives me. I wish you had at least paid them the compliment
of apprising them of our marriage.’
‘Cheer up. For myself, I have none but pleasant anticipations. I long
to be at home once more by my own fireside, and patting my faithful
Cerberus.’
‘I think I shall like Cerberus; I am fond of dogs.’
‘I am sure you will. He is the most faithful creature in the world.’
‘Is he very fierce?’
‘Not if he takes a fancy to you; and who can help taking a fancy to
Proserpine?’
‘Ah! my Pluto, you are in love.’
‘Is this Hades?’ inquired Proserpine.
An avenue of colossal bulls, sculptured in basalt and breathing
living flame, led to gates of brass, adorned with friezes of rubies,
representing the wars and discomfiture of the Titans. A crimson cloud
concealed the height of the immense portals, and on either side hovered
o’er the extending walls of the city; a watch-tower or a battlement
occasionally flashing forth, and forcing their forms through the lurid
obscurity.
‘Queen of Hades! welcome to your capital!’ exclaimed Pluto.
The monarch rose in his car and whirled a javelin at the gates. There
was an awful clang, and then a still more terrible growl.
‘My faithful Cerberus!’ exclaimed the King.
The portals flew open, and revealed the gigantic form of the celebrated
watch-dog of Hell. It completely filled their wide expanse. Who but
Pluto could have viewed without horror that enormous body covered with
shaggy spikes, those frightful paws clothed with claws of steel, that
tail like a boa constrictor, those fiery eyes that blazed like the
blood-red lamps in a pharos, and those three forky tongues, round each
of which were entwined a vigorous family of green rattlesnakes!
‘Ah! Cerby! Cerby!’ exclaimed Pluto; ‘my fond and faithful Cerby!’
Proserpine screamed as the animal gambolled up to the side of the
chariot and held out its paw to its master. Then, licking the royal palm
with its three tongues at once, it renewed its station with a wag of its
tail which raised such a cloud of dust that for a few minutes nothing
was perceptible.
‘The monster!’ exclaimed Proserpine.
‘My love!’ exclaimed Pluto, with astonishment.
‘The hideous brute!’
‘My dear!’ exclaimed Pluto.
‘He shall never touch me.’
‘Proserpine!’
‘Don’t touch me with that hand. You never shall touch me, if you allow
that disgusting animal to lick your hand.’
‘I beg to inform you that there are few beings of any kind for whom I
have a greater esteem than that faithful and affectionate beast.’
‘Oh! if you like Cerberus better than me, I have no more to say,’
exclaimed the bride, bridling up with indignation.
‘My Proserpine is perverse,’ replied Pluto; ‘her memory has scarcely
done me justice.’
‘I am sure you said you liked Cerberus better than anything in the
world,’ continued the goddess, with a voice trembling with passion.
‘I said no such thing,’ replied Pluto, somewhat sternly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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