He was talking about something, with his legs stretched out a little,
sometimes looking at her, sometimes not looking at her.
"You know, the Bernards have not accepted."
He glanced at her, then looked down at the carpet and gave a
disappointed cluck with his tongue, absorbed in this matter that
interested him, while she kept going and coming, showing the lovely
curves of her body.
She /was/ lovely. But her husband went on droning his commonplaces,
phrases that meant nothing to her, that were strange to her, and that
seemed blasphemous in the room which held her beauty.
She put her garments on, one by one. Her husband continued in his
bestial indifference, and dropped back into his reflections.
She went to the mirror over the mantelpiece with toilet articles spread
out before her. Probably the mirror in the washroom was too small.
While keeping on with her toilet, she spoke as if to herself in a gay,
animated, chatty way, because it was still the springtime of the day.
She gave herself careful attention and took much time to groom herself.
But this was an important matter, and the time was not lost. Besides,
she was really hurrying.
Now she went to a wardrobe and took out a light dress of delicate
texture, which she held out in her arms carefully.
She started to put the dress on, then an idea suddenly occurred to her
and she stopped.
"No, no, no, decidedly not," she said.
She put the dress back and looked for another one, a dark skirt and a
blouse.
She took a hat, fluffed the ribbon a bit, then held the trimming of
roses close to her face in front of the mirror. Then she began to
sing, evidently satisfied.
. . . . .
He did not look at her, and when he did look at her, he did not see
her.
It was a solemn spectacle, a drama, but a drama dismal and depressing.
That man was not happy, and yet I envied him his happiness. How
explain this except by the fact that happiness is within us, within
each of us, and is the desire for what we do not possess?
These two were together, but in reality far apart. They had left each
other without leaving each other. A sort of intrigue about nothing
held them together. They would never come nearer again, for between
them lay the impassable barrier of love over and done with. This
silence and this mutual ignorance are the cruelest things in the world.
To cease to love is worse than to hate, for say what you will, death is
worse than suffering.
I am sorry for the men and women who go through life together in the
chains of indifference. I am sorry for the poor heart that has what it
has for so short a time. I am sorry for the men who have the heart not
to love any more.
And for a moment, seeing this simple harrowing scene, I underwent a
little of the enormous suffering of those innumerable people who suffer
all.
. . . . .
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account