The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels — John Shaqi
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
General
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
Saddleton shouldered his tools, and followed in silence.
The cemetery of St. Bridget's was some half-mile distant from the
Clerk's domicile, and adjoined a chapel dedicated to that illustrious
lady, who, after leading but a so-so life, had died in the odour of
sanctity. Emmanuel Saddleton was fat and scant of breath, the mattock
was heavy, and the Saint walked too fast for him: he paused to take
second wind at the end of the first furlong.
"Emmanuel," said the holy lady good-humouredly, for she heard him
puffing; "rest awhile, Emmanuel, and I'll tell you what I want with
you."
Her auditor wiped his brow with the back of his hand, and looked all
attention and obedience.
"Emmanuel," continued she, "what did you and Father Fothergill, and the
rest of you, mean yesterday by burying that drowned man so close to me?
He died in mortal sin, Emmanuel; no shrift, no unction, no absolution:
why, he might as well have been excommunicated. He plagues me with his
grinning, and I can't have any peace in my shrine. You must howk him up
again, Emmanuel!"
"To be sure, madam,--my lady,--that is, your holiness," stammered
Saddleton, trembling at the thought of the task assigned to him. "To be
sure, your ladyship; only--that is--"
"Emmanuel," said the Saint, "you'll do my bidding; or it would be
better you had!" and her eye changed from a dove's eye to that of a
hawk, and a flash came from it as bright as the one from her little
finger. The Clerk shook in his shoes; and, again dashing the cold
perspiration from his brow, followed the footsteps of his mysterious
guide.
* * * * *
The next morning all Chatham was in an uproar. The Clerk of St
Bridget's had found himself at home at daybreak, seated in his own
arm-chair, the fire out, and--the tankard of ale out too! Who had drunk
it?--where had he been?--how had he got home?--all was a mystery!--he
remembered "a mass of things, but nothing distinctly;" all was fog
and fantasy. What he could clearly recollect was, that he had dug
up the Grinning Sailor, and that the Saint had helped to throw him
into the river again. All was thenceforth wonderment and devotion.
Masses were sung, tapers were kindled, bells were tolled; the monks
of St. Romuald had a solemn procession, the abbot at their head, the
sacristan at their tail, and the holy breeches of St. Thomas à Becket
in the centre;--Father Fothergill brewed a XXX puncheon of holy water.
The Rood of Gillingham was deserted; the chapel of Rainham forsaken;
every one who had a soul to be saved, flocked with his offering to St.
Bridget's shrine, and Emmanuel Saddleton gathered more fees from the
promiscuous piety of that one week than he had pocketed during the
twelve preceding months.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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