The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels — John Shaqi
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
General
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
At this moment the shrill tones of a trumpet were heard to sound thrice
from the champaign. It was the signal for parley: the Baron changed his
mind; instead of going to bed, he went to the ramparts.
"Well, rapscallions! and what now!" said the Baron.
A herald, two pursuivants, and a trumpeter, occupied the foreground
of the scene; behind them, some three hundred paces off, upon a
rising ground, was drawn up in battle array the main body of the
ecclesiastical forces.
"Hear you, Robert de Shurland, Knight, Baron of Shurland and Minster,
and Lord of Sheppey, and know all men, by these presents, that I do
hereby attach you, the said Robert, of murder and sacrilege, now, or of
late, done and committed by you, the said Robert, contrary to the peace
of our Sovereign Lord the King, his crown and dignity: and I do hereby
require and charge you, the said Robert, to forthwith surrender and
give up your own proper person, together with the castle of Shurland
aforesaid, in order that the same may be duly dealt with according to
law. And here standeth John de Northwood, Esquire, good man and true,
sheriff of this his Majesty's most loyal county of Kent, to enforce the
same, if need be, with his _posse comitatus_--"
"His what?" said the Baron.
"His _posse comitatus_, and--"
"Go to Bath!" said the Baron.
A defiance so contemptuous roused the ire of the adverse commanders.
A volley of missiles rattled about the Baron's ears. Nightcaps avail
little against contusions. He left the walls, and returned to the great
hall.
"Let them pelt away," quoth the Baron; "there are no windows to break,
and they can't get in."--So he took his afternoon nap, and the siege
went on.
Towards evening his lordship awoke, and grew tired of the din. Guy
Pearson, too, had got a black eye from a brick-bat, and the assailants
were clambering over the outer wall. So the Baron called for his
Sunday hauberk of Milan steel, and his great two-handed sword with the
terrible name;--it was the fashion in feudal times to give names to
swords: King Arthur's was christened Excalibar; the Baron called his
Tickletoby, and whenever he took it in hand it was no joke.
"Up with the portcullis! down with the bridge!" said Sir Robert; and
out he sallied, followed by the _élite_ of his retainers. Then there
was a pretty to-do. Heads flew one way--arms and legs another; round
went Tickletoby; and, wherever it alighted, down came horse and man:
the Baron excelled himself that day. All that he had done in Palestine
faded in the comparison; he had fought for fun there, but now it was
for life and lands. Away went John de Northwood; away went William
of Hever, and Roger of Leybourne.--Hamo de Crevecœur, with the church
vassals and the banner of St. Austin, had been gone some time.--The
siege was raised, and the Lord of Sheppey was left alone in his glory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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