The Inside of the Cup — Volume 05Churchill, Winston
Science
The Inside of the Cup — Volume 05
Churchill, Winston
Attitude change -- Fiction; Christian ethics -- Fiction; Christian life -- Fiction; Conscience -- Religious aspects -- Fiction
She started on suddenly perceiving him, but it was characteristic of her
greeting that she seemed to feel no surprise at the accident which had
brought them together.
"I am afraid," he said, smiling, "that I have broken in on some profound
reflections."
She did not answer at once, but looked up at him, as he stood over her,
with one of her strange, baffling gazes, in which there was the hint of a
welcoming smile.
"Reflection seems to be a circular process with me," she answered. "I
never get anywhere--like you."
"Like me!" he exclaimed, seating himself on the bench. Apparently their
intercourse, so long as it should continue, was destined to be on the
basis of intimacy in which it had begun. It was possible at once to be
aware of her disturbing presence, and yet to feel at home in it.
"Like you, yes," she said, continuing to examine him. "You've changed
remarkably."
In his agitation, at this discovery of hers he again repeated her words.
"Why, you seem happier, you look happier. It isn't only that, I can't
explain how you impress me. It struck me when you were talking to Mr.
Bentley the other day. You seem to see something you didn't see when
I first met you, that you didn't see the first time we were at Mr.
Bentley's together. Your attitude is fixed--directed. You have made a
decision of some sort--a momentous one, I rather think."
"Yes," he replied, "you are right. It's more than remarkable that you
should have guessed it."
She remained silent
"I have decided," he found himself saying abruptly, "to continue in the
Church."
Still she was silent, until he wondered whether she would answer him. He
had often speculated to himself how she would take this decision, but he
could make no surmise from her expression as she stared off into the
wood. Presently she turned her head, slowly, and looked into his face.
Still she did not speak.
"You are wondering how I can do it," he said.
"Yes," she acknowledged, in a low voice.
"I should like you to know--that is why I spoke of it. You have never
asked me, and I have never told you that the convictions I formerly held
I lost. And with them, for a while, went everything. At least so I
believed."
"I knew it," she answered, "I could see that, too."
"When I argued with you, that afternoon,--the last time we talked
together alone,--I was trying to convince myself, and you--" he
hesitated, "--that there was something. The fact that you could not
seem to feel it stimulated me."
He read in her eyes that she understood him. And he dared not, nor did
he need to emphasize further his own intense desire that she should find
a solution of her own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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