KHLESTAKOV. I'm glad to see you. Take a seat, take a seat. Will you have a cigar? [Offers him a cigar.] LUKA [to himself, hesitating]. There now! That's something I hadn't anticipated. To take or not to take? KHLESTAKOV. Take it, take it. It's a pretty good cigar. Of course not what you get in St. Petersburg. There I used to smoke twenty-five cent cigars. You feel like kissing yourself after having smoked one of them. Here, light it. [Hands him a candle.] Luka Lukich tries to light the cigar shaking all over. KHLESTAKOV. Not that end, the other. LUKA [drops the cigar from fright, spits and shakes his hands. Aside]. Confound it! My damned timidity has ruined me! KHLESTAKOV. I see you are not a lover of cigars. I confess smoking is my weakness--smoking and the fair sex. Not for the life of me can I remain indifferent to the fair sex. How about you? Which do you like more, brunettes or blondes? Luka Lukich remains silent, at a complete loss what to say. KHLESTAKOV. Tell me frankly, brunettes or blondes? LUKA. I don't dare to know. KHLESTAKOV. No, no, don't evade. I'm bound to know your taste. LUKA. I venture to report to you--[Aside.] I don't know what I'm saying. KHLESTAKOV. Ah, you don't want to say. I suppose some little brunette or other has cast a spell over you. Confess, she has, hasn't she? Luka Lukich remains silent. KHLESTAKOV. Ah, you're blushing. You see. Why don't you speak? LUKA. I'm scared, your Hon--High--Ex--[Aside.] Done for! My confounded tongue has undone me! KHLESTAKOV. You're scared? There IS something awe-inspiring in my eyes, isn't there? At least I know not a single woman can resist them. Isn't that so? LUKA. Exactly. KHLESTAKOV. A strange thing happened to me on the road. I ran entirely out of cash. Can you lend me three hundred rubles? LUKA [clutching his pockets. Aside]. A fine business if I haven't got the money! I have! I have! [Takes out the bills and gives them to him, trembling.] KHLESTAKOV. Thank you very much. LUKA [drawing himself up, with his hand on his sword]. I will not venture to disturb you with my presence any longer. KHLESTAKOV. Good-by. LUKA [dashes out almost at a run, saying aside.] Well, thank the Lord! Maybe he won't inspect the schools. SCENE VI Khlestakov and Artemy Filippovich. ARTEMY [enters and draws himself up, his hand on his sword]. I have the honor to present myself--Superintendent of Charities, Court Councilor Zemlianika. KHLESTAKOV. Howdeedo? Please sit down. ARTEMY. I had the honor of receiving you and personally conducting you through the philanthropic institutions committed to my care. KHLESTAKOV. Oh, yes, I remember. You treated me to a dandy lunch. ARTEMY. I am glad to do all I can in behalf of my country. KHLESTAKOV. I admit, my weakness is a good cuisine.--Tell me, please, won't you--it seems to me you were a little shorter yesterday, weren't you?