KHLESTAKOV. Not at all, not at all. It was my pleasure. [Sees them to the door.] SCENE VIII KHLESTAKOV [alone]. My, there are a lot of officials here. They seem to be taking me for a government functionary. To be sure, I threw dust in their eyes yesterday. What a bunch of fools! I'll write all about it to Triapichkin in St. Petersburg. He'll write them up in the papers. Let him give them a nice walloping.--Ho, Osip, give me paper and ink. OSIP [looking in at the door]. D'rectly. KHLESTAKOV. Anybody gets caught in Triapichkin's tongue had better look out. For the sake of a witticism he wouldn't spare his own father. They are good people though, these officials. It's a nice trait of theirs to lend me money. I'll just see how much it all mounts up to. Here's three hundred from the Judge and three hundred from the Postmaster--six hundred, seven hundred, eight hundred--What a greasy bill!--Eight hundred, nine hundred.--Oho! Rolls up to more than a thousand! Now, if I get you, captain, now! We'll see who'll do whom! SCENE IX Khlestakov and Osip entering with paper and ink. KHLESTAKOV. Now, you simpleton, you see how they receive and treat me. [Begins to write.] OSIP. Yes, thank God! But do you know what, Ivan Aleksandrovich? KHLESTAKOV. What? OSIP. Leave this place. Upon my word, it's time. KHLESTAKOV [writing]. What nonsense! Why? OSIP. Just so. God be with them. You've had a good time here for two days. It's enough. What's the use of having anything more to do with them? Spit on them. You don't know what may happen. Somebody else may turn up. Upon my word, Ivan Aleksandrovich. And the horses here are fine. We'll gallop away like a breeze. KHLESTAKOV [writing]. No, I'd like to stay a little longer. Let's go tomorrow. OSIP. Why tomorrow? Let's go now, Ivan Aleksandrovich, now, 'pon my word. To be sure, it's a great honor and all that. But really we'd better go as quick as we can. You see, they've taken you for somebody else, honest. And your dad will be angry because you dilly-dallied so long. We'd gallop off so smartly. They'd give us first-class horses here. KHLESTAKOV [writing]. All right. But first take this letter to the postoffice, and, if you like, order post horses at the same time. Tell the postilions that they should drive like couriers and sing songs, and I'll give them a ruble each. [Continues to write.] I wager Triapichkin will die laughing. OSIP. I'll send the letter off by the man here. I'd rather be packing in the meanwhile so as to lose no time. KHLESTAKOV. All right. Bring me a candle. OSIP [outside the door, where he is heard speaking]. Say, partner, go to the post office and mail a letter, and tell the postmaster to frank it. And have a coach sent round at once, the very best courier coach; and tell them the master doesn't pay fare. He travels at the expense of the government. And make them hurry, or else the master will be angry. Wait, the letter isn't ready yet.