Because of these powerful preoccupations, when woman adopts a career she
has hitherto frequently allowed herself to be diverted therefrom by
love. Up to the end of the nineteenth century it was very common for a
woman to abandon the stage, the concert platform, and so forth, when she
married. A change has come about, and there is a growing tendency in
women, whether or not at the expense of love I do not know, to retain
their occupations when they marry. But the tendency of woman still is to
revert to the instinctive function. In days to come, when we have
developed the individual and broken up the socialized society in which
we live, when the home has been swept away and the family destroyed, I
do not believe that this factor will operate so powerfully. In the way
of change stand the remnants of woman's slavish habit. No longer a
slave, she tends to follow, to submit, to adjust her conduct to the wish
of man, and it is significant that a powerful man is seldom henpecked.
The henpecked deserve to be henpecked, and I would point out that there
is no intention in these notes to attempt to substitute henpecked
husbands for cockpecked wives. The tendency is all the other way, for
woman tends to mould herself to man.
A number of cases lie before me:
Case 61 married a barrister. Before her marriage she lived in a
commercial atmosphere; after marriage she grew violently legal in her
conversation. Her husband developed a passion for motoring; so did Case
61. Observe that during a previous attachment to a doctor, Case 61 had
manifested a growing interest in medicine.
Case 18 comes from a hunting family, married a literary man, and within
a few years has ceased to take any exercise and mixes exclusively with
literary people.
Case 38, on becoming engaged to a member of the Indian Civil Service,
became a sedulous student of Indian literature and religion. On her
husband's appointment to a European post, her interest did not diminish.
She has paid a lengthy visit to India.
There are compensating cases among men: I have two. In one case a
soldier who married a literary woman has turned into a scholar. In the
other a commercial man, who married a popular actress, has been
completely absorbed by the theater, and is now writing successful plays.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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