The Intelligence Office (From "Mosses from an Old Manse")Hawthorne, Nathaniel
General
The Intelligence Office (From "Mosses from an Old Manse")
Hawthorne, Nathaniel
New England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
“Easy, abundantly easy!” answered the successful man, smiling, but with
a stern and almost frightful contraction of the brow, as if to quell an
inward pang. “I have been engaged in various sorts of business,—a
distiller, a trader to Africa, an East India merchant, a speculator in
the stocks,—and, in the course of these affairs, have contracted an
encumbrance of a certain nature. The purchaser of the estate shall
merely be required to assume this burden to himself.”
“I understand you,” said the Man of Intelligence, putting his pen
behind his ear. “I fear that no bargain can be negotiated on these
conditions. Very probably the next possessor may acquire the estate
with a similar encumbrance, but it will be of his own contracting, and
will not lighten your burden in the least.”
“And am I to live on,” fiercely exclaimed the stranger, “with the dirt
of these accursed acres and the granite of this infernal mansion
crushing down my soul? How, if I should turn the edifice into an
almshouse or a hospital, or tear it down and build a church?”
“You can at least make the experiment,” said the Intelligencer; “but
the whole matter is one which you must settle for yourself.”
The man of deplorable success withdrew, and got into his coach, which
rattled off lightly over the wooden pavements, though laden with the
weight of much land, a stately house, and ponderous heaps of gold, all
compressed into an evil conscience.
There now appeared many applicants for places; among the most
noteworthy of whom was a small, smoke-dried figure, who gave himself
out to be one of the bad spirits that had waited upon Dr. Faustus in
his laboratory. He pretended to show a certificate of character, which,
he averred, had been given him by that famous necromancer, and
countersigned by several masters whom he had subsequently served.
“I am afraid, my good friend,” observed the Intelligencer, “that your
chance of getting a service is but poor. Nowadays, men act the evil
spirit for themselves and their neighbors, and play the part more
effectually than ninety-nine out of a hundred of your fraternity.”
But, just as the poor fiend was assuming a vaporous consistency, being
about to vanish through the floor in sad disappointment and chagrin,
the editor of a political newspaper chanced to enter the office in
quest of a scribbler of party paragraphs. The former servant of Dr.
Faustus, with some misgivings as to his sufficiency of venom, was
allowed to try his hand in this capacity. Next appeared, likewise
seeking a service, the mysterious man in Red, who had aided Bonaparte
in his ascent to imperial power. He was examined as to his
qualifications by an aspiring politician, but finally rejected, as
lacking familiarity with the cunning tactics of the present day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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