The International Magazine, Volume 4, No. 5, December 1851Various
History
The International Magazine, Volume 4, No. 5, December 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
Mademoiselle d'Ermay consented, but reluctantly, and with the ill grace
of a woman who yields in spite of herself; however she did yield,
and quitted her apartments on the sixth floor for mine on the first.
From that moment, my friend, I knew the bliss of being loved, and
loved too without jealousy or quarrels, but with a sweet, constant,
and equable flow of affection which I had not hitherto believed to be
possible. No thought of the past, no anxiety for the future, seemed to
have any place in Eugenie's mind; but happy in the conviction of my
love, she manifested towards me as much attachment and even passion as
she had exhibited hesitation and reserve on consenting to my wishes.
Never, by any chance, did she allude to past events, nor did the name
of M. de Fosseux ever escape her lips. I was proud of my conquest;
prouder of the passion I had inspired--a passion which she did not
feign, but feel. There was no pouting, no jealous freaks, none of
those ebullitions of temper which so disturb the peace and harmony of
even the most attached couples: she was always in the same mood; her
countenance always serene, her words always sweet and soothing; nay,
more, my circumstances were, as I have told you, embarrassed; and I was
so deeply in debt, that I owed even the freedom of my person to the
interposition of the Prince de Beauveau, when Mademoiselle d'Ermay
undertook the management of my affairs, called on my creditors in
person, examined their claims, obtained time for payment, struck out
usurious demands; and, when my brother at length thought proper to come
to my aid, paid the stipulated sums to each with such business-like
accuracy, that my creditors gave me no further trouble, and in a
very short space of time I was completely free from all claims and
incumbrances. She held that a gentleman's word should be his bond,
and that no other security ought to be necessary or required. When I
reflected on the change which had taken place in the course of my life,
and on the growing ascendancy which Eugenie exercised over me, and
when I saw my foolish fancies and ill-formed plans give way, as they
continually did, before the influence of her firm and well-regulated
mind, I blushed to think how poor a figure I made, and what a mere
puppet I was in the hands of a clever but imperious woman. Far from
seeing love in all the care she bestowed upon me, I saw only a spirit
of domination which hurt my pride. Even Zephirine, the opera-dancer,
deceiving and abandoning me as she did at the very moment when I was
harassed by debts contracted for and by her, had less deeply wounded my
self-love than did Mademoiselle d'Ermay in thus devoting herself to my
interests. Such is man! vain and ungrateful! Such, however, were her
powers of fascination, that I could not help loving her, and whilst I
thus yielded to her sway, I had, as you see, this one secret feeling in
my bosom which I could not impart to her. How soon was I to be guilty
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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