The International Monthly, Volume 2, No. 1, December, 1850Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 2, No. 1, December, 1850
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
With all his hardness, he had one object of affection, to which all that
was gentle in his nature was bent. That object was the boy by whom he
now stood, and for whom he had a great--an almost parental regard.
Perhaps it was that he thought the lad not very well treated; and, as
such had been his own case, there was sympathy in the matter. But
besides, he had been intrusted with his education from a very early
period, had taken a pleasure in the task, had found his scholar apt,
willing, and affectionate, with a sufficient touch of his own character
in the boy to make the sympathy strong, and yet sufficient diversity to
interest and to excite.
The old man was tenderer toward him than toward any other being upon
earth; and he sometimes feared that his early injunctions to study and
perseverance were somewhat too strictly followed--even to the detriment
of health. He often looked with some anxiety at the increasing paleness
of the cheek, at the too vivid gleam of the eye, at the eager nervous
quivering of the lip, and said within himself, "This is overdone."
He did not like to check, after he had encouraged--to draw the rein
where he had been using the spur. There is something of vanity in us
all, and the sternest is not without that share which makes man shrink
from the imputation of error, even when made by his own heart. He did
not choose to think that the lad had needed no urging forward; and yet
he would fain have had him relax a little more, and strove at times to
make him do so. But the impulse had been given: it had carried the youth
over the difficulties and obstacles in the way to knowledge, and now he
went on to acquire it, with an eagerness, a thirst, that had something
fearful in it. A bent, too, had been given to his mind--nay, to his
character, partly by the stern uncompromising character of him to whom
his education had been solely intrusted, partly by his own peculiar
situation, and partly by the subjects on which his reading had chiefly
turned.
The stern old Roman of the early republic; the deeds of heroic
virtue--as virtue was understood by the Romans; the sacrifice of all
tender affections, all the sensibilities of our nature to the rigid
thought of what is right; the remorseless disregard of feelings
implanted by God, when opposed to the notion of duties of man's
creation, excited his wonder and his admiration, and would have hardened
and perverted his heart, had not that heart been naturally full of
kindlier affections. As it was, there often existed a struggle--a sort
of hypothetical struggle--in his bosom, between the mind and the heart.
He asked himself sometimes, if he could sacrifice any of those he knew
and loved--his father, his mother, his brother, to the good of his
country, to some grave duty; and he felt pained and roused to resistance
of his own affections when he perceived what a pang it would cost him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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