The International Monthly, Volume 2, No. 1, December, 1850Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 2, No. 1, December, 1850
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
Yet his home was not a very happy one; the kindlier things of domestic
life had not gathered green around him. His father was varying and
uneven in temper, especially toward his second son; sometimes stern and
gloomy, sometimes irascible almost to a degree of insanity. Generous,
brave, and upright, he was; but every one said, that a wound he had
received on the head in the wars, had marvelously increased the
infirmities of his temper.
The mother, indeed, was full of tenderness and gentleness; and doubtless
it was through her veins that the milk of human kindness had found its
way into that strange boy's heart. But yet she loved her eldest son
best, and unfortunately showed it.
The brother was a wild, rash, reckless young man, some three years
older; fond of the other, yet often pleased to irritate--or at least to
try, for he seldom succeeded. He was the favorite, however, somewhat
spoiled, much indulged; and whatever was done, was done for him. He was
the person most considered in the house; his were the parties of
pleasure; his the advantages. Even now the family was absent, in order
to let him see the capital of his native land, to open his mind to the
general world, to show him life on a more extended scale than could be
done in the country; and his younger brother was left at home, to pursue
his studies in dull solitude.
Yet he did not complain; there was not even a murmur at his heart. He
thought it all quite right. His destiny was before him. He was to form
his fortune for himself, by his own abilities, his own learning, his own
exertions. It was needful he should study, and his greatest ambition for
the time was to enter with distinction at the University; his brightest
thoughts of pleasure, the comparative freedom and independence of a
collegiate life.
Not that he did not find it dull; that gloomy old house, inhabited by
none but himself and a few servants. Sometimes it seemed to oppress him
with a sense of terrible loneliness; sometimes it drove him to think of
the strange difference of human destinies, and why it should be
that--because it had pleased Heaven one man should be born a little
sooner or a little later than another, or in some other place--such a
wide interval should be placed between the different degrees of
happiness and fortune.
He felt, however, that such speculations were not good; they led him
beyond his depth; he involved himself in subtilties more common in those
days than in ours; he lost his way; and with passionate eagerness flew
to his books, to drive the mists and shadows from his mind. Such had
been the case even now; and there he sat, unconscious that a complete
and total change was coming over his destiny.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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