Female friendship -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
A low sound of singing came through the door. Peggy beguiled the vigil
with a song. Airey held up his hand for silence. Trix listened; the
tears gathered in her eyes.
'Does that say nothing to you?' he asked as the song died away. 'Does
that give you no hint of our mistake? No clue to where the rest of life
lies? Life isn't taking in only, it's giving out too. And it's not
giving out only work, or deeds, or things we've made. It's giving
ourselves out too--freely, freely!'
'Giving ourselves out?'
'Yes, to other people. Giving ourselves in comradeship, in
understanding, in joy, in love. Oh, good Lord, fancy not having found
that out before! What a roundabout road to find it! Hedges and briars
and bleeding shins!' He laughed gently. 'But she knows it,' he said,
pointing to the door. 'She goes on the royal road to it--straight on the
King's highway. She goes blindfold too, which is a funny thing. She
couldn't even tell you where she was going.'
Another snatch of song came. It was sentimental in character, but it
ended abruptly in uncontrolled gurgles of a mirth free from all such
weakness.
'Yes, she gets there, dainty, trim, serene!'
He shook his head, smiling with an infinite affection. Trix Trevalla
leant her head on her hand and regarded him with searching eyes.
'Yes, that's true of her,' she said, 'that's true. You've found out the
meaning of it.'
'Everything's so plain to find out to-day.'
'Then surely you must be in love with her?' Her eyes were grave and
curious still. 'How can you help it? She mayn't love you, but that makes
no difference. How can you help loving her?'
'Does it make no difference? I don't know.' He came across to Trix.
'We've travelled the bad road together, you and I,' he said softly. 'I
may have seen her far off--against the sky--and steered a course by
hers. The course isn't everything. But for your arm I should have fallen
by the way. And--should you never have fallen if you'd been quite alone?
Or did you fall and need to be picked up again?'
He took both her hands and she let them lie in his; but she still looked
at him in fear and doubt, unable to rise to his serenity, unable to put
the past behind her as he did. The spectres rose and seemed to bar the
path, crying to her that she had no right to tread it.
'I've grown so hard, I've been so hard. Can I forget what I've been and
what I've done? Sha'n't I always hear them accusing me? Can I trust
myself not to want to go back again? It seems to me that I've lost the
power of doing what you say.'
'Never,' said Airey confidently. 'Never!' His smile broke out again.
'Well, certainly not your side of thirty,' he amended, trying to make
her laugh.
'Oh, ask Mrs. Bonfill, or Lord Mervyn, or Beaufort Chance of me!'
'They'd all tell me the truth of what they know, I don't doubt it.'
'And you know it too!' she cried, in a sort of shrinking wonder.
'To be sure I know it,' he agreed cheerfully. 'Wasn't I walking beside
you all the way?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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