Female friendship -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
'That's my name,' answered Trix, wondering greatly, but thanking heaven
for a soul who knew her. In the _pensions_ they never knew who you were,
but were always trying to find out, and generally succeeded the day
after you went away.
'That's very curious,' he went on. 'I daresay you'll be surprised, but
your photograph stands on my bedroom mantel-piece. I knew you directly
from it. It was sent to me.'
'When was it sent you?' she asked.
'At the time of your marriage.' He grew grave as he spoke.
'You were his friend?'
'I called myself so.' Conversation was busy round them, yet he lowered
his voice to add, 'I don't know now whether I had any right.'
'Why not?'
'I gave up very soon.'
Trix's eyes shot a quick glance at him and she frowned a little.
'Well, I ought to have been more than a friend, and so did I,' she said.
'It would have been utterly useless, of course. Reason recognises that,
but then conscience isn't always reasonable.'
She agreed with a nod as she galloped through her fish, eager to
overtake the _menu_.
'Besides, I have----' He hesitated a moment, smiling apologetically and
playing nervously with a knife. 'I have a propensity myself, and that
makes me judge him more easily--and myself not so lightly.'
She looked at his pint of _ordinaire_ with eyebrows raised.
'Oh, no, quite another,' he assured her, smiling. 'But it's enough to
teach me what propensities are.'
'What is it? Tell me.' She caught eagerly at the strange luxury of
intimate talk.
'Never! But, as I say, I've learnt from it. Are you alone here, Mrs.
Trevalla?'
'Here and everywhere,' said Trix, with a sigh and a smile.
'Come for a stroll after dinner. I'm an old friend of Vesey's, you
know.' The last remark was evidently thrown in as a concession to rules
not held in much honour by the speaker. Trix said that she would come;
the outing seemed a treat to her after the _pensions_.
They drank beer together on the boulevards; he heard her story, and he
said many things to her, waving (as the evening wore on) a pipe to and
fro from his mouth to the length of his arm. It was entirely owing to
the things which he said that evening on the boulevards that she sat now
in the flat over the river, her mourning doffed, her guaranteed
_pensions_ forsaken, London before her, an unknown alluring sea.
'What you want,' he told her, with smiling vehemence, 'is a revenge.
Hitherto you've done nothing; you've only had things done to you. You've
made nothing; you've only been made into things yourself. Life has
played with you; go and play with it.'
Trix listened, sitting very still, with eager eyes. There was a life,
then--a life still open to her; the door was not shut, nor her story of
necessity ended.
'I daresay you'll scorch your fingers; for the fire burns. But it's
better to die of heat than of cold. And if trouble comes, call at 6A
Danes Inn.'
'Where in the world is Danes Inn?' she asked, laughing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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