"Well, rather," interrupted the Idiot. "My great-grandfather, who died
in 1799, had never even heard of Andrew Jackson, and if you had asked
him what he thought of Darwin, he'd have thought you were guying him."
"Respect for age, sir," retorted Mr. Pedagog, "restrains me from
characterizing your great-grandfather, if, as you intimate, he knew less
than you do. However, apart from the comparative lack of knowledge in
the Idiot's family, Mr. Whitechoker, you must remember that with the
advance of the centuries we have ourselves developed a certain amount of
brains--enough, at least, to understand that there is a limit even to
the possibilities of electricity. Now, when you say that just because
an Atlantic cable would have been regarded as an object of derision in
the eighteenth century, we should not deride one who suggests the
possibility of a marine trolley-road between London and New York in the
twentieth century, it appears to me that you are talking--er--talking--I
don't like to say nonsense to one of your cloth, but--"
"Through his hat is the idiom you are trying to recall, I think, Mr.
Pedagog," said the Idiot. "Mr. Whitechoker is talking through his hat is
what you mean to say?"
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Idiot," said the School-master; "but when I find
that I need your assistance in framing my conversation, I shall--er--I
shall give up talking. I mean to say that I do not think Mr. Whitechoker
can justify his conclusions, and talks without having given the subject
concerning which he has spoken due reflection. The cable runs along the
solid foundation of the bed of the sea. It is a simple matter,
comparatively, but a trolley-wire stretched across the ocean by the
simplest rules of gravitation could not be made to stay up."
"No doubt you are correct," said Mr. Whitechoker, meekly. "I did not
mean that I expected ever to see a trolley-road across the sea, but I
did mean to say that man has made such wonderful advances in the past
hundred years that we cannot really state the limit of his
possibilities. It is manifest that no one to-day can devise a plan by
means of which such a wire could be carried, but--"
"I fear you gentlemen would starve as inventors," said the Idiot.
"What's the matter with balloons?"
"Balloons for what?" retorted Mr. Pedagog.
"For holding up the trolley-wires," replied the Idiot. "It is perfectly
feasible. Fasten the ends of your wire in London and New York, and from
coast to coast station two lines of sufficient strength to keep the wire
raised as far above the level of the sea as you require. That's simple
enough."
"And what, pray, in this frenzy of the elements, this raging storm of
which you have spoken," said Mr. Pedagog, impatiently--"what would then
keep your balloons from blowing away?"
"The trolley-wire, of course," said the Idiot. Mr. Pedagog lapsed into a
hopelessly wrathful silence for a moment, and then he said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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