“I’ve worn worse—in fact, I’ve worn none. But none so owdacious ugly—if you’ll allow the expression. I’ve been cadging boots—in particular—for days. Because I was sick of _them_. They’re sound enough, of course. But a gentleman on tramp sees such a thundering lot of his boots. And if you’ll believe me, I’ve raised nothing in the whole blessed country, try as I would, but _them_. Look at ’em! And a good country for boots, too, in a general way. But it’s just my promiscuous luck. I’ve got my boots in this country ten years or more. And then they treat you like this.” “It’s a beast of a country,” said the Voice. “And pigs for people.” “Ain’t it?” said Mr. Thomas Marvel. “Lord! But them boots! It beats it.” He turned his head over his shoulder to the right, to look at the boots of his interlocutor with a view to comparisons, and lo! where the boots of his interlocutor should have been were neither legs nor boots. He was irradiated by the dawn of a great amazement. “Where _are_ yer?” said Mr. Thomas Marvel over his shoulder and coming on all fours. He saw a stretch of empty downs with the wind swaying the remote green-pointed furze bushes. “Am I drunk?” said Mr. Marvel. “Have I had visions? Was I talking to myself? What the—” “Don’t be alarmed,” said a Voice. “None of your ventriloquising _me_,” said Mr. Thomas Marvel, rising sharply to his feet. “Where _are_ yer? Alarmed, indeed!” “Don’t be alarmed,” repeated the Voice. “_You’ll_ be alarmed in a minute, you silly fool,” said Mr. Thomas Marvel. “Where _are_ yer? Lemme get my mark on yer... “Are yer _buried_?” said Mr. Thomas Marvel, after an interval. There was no answer. Mr. Thomas Marvel stood bootless and amazed, his jacket nearly thrown off. “Peewit,” said a peewit, very remote. “Peewit, indeed!” said Mr. Thomas Marvel. “This ain’t no time for foolery.” The down was desolate, east and west, north and south; the road with its shallow ditches and white bordering stakes, ran smooth and empty north and south, and, save for that peewit, the blue sky was empty too. “So help me,” said Mr. Thomas Marvel, shuffling his coat on to his shoulders again. “It’s the drink! I might ha’ known.” “It’s not the drink,” said the Voice. “You keep your nerves steady.” “Ow!” said Mr. Marvel, and his face grew white amidst its patches. “It’s the drink!” his lips repeated noiselessly. He remained staring about him, rotating slowly backwards. “I could have _swore_ I heard a voice,” he whispered. “Of course you did.” “It’s there again,” said Mr. Marvel, closing his eyes and clasping his hand on his brow with a tragic gesture. He was suddenly taken by the collar and shaken violently, and left more dazed than ever. “Don’t be a fool,” said the Voice. “I’m—off—my—blooming—chump,” said Mr. Marvel. “It’s no good. It’s fretting about them blarsted boots. I’m off my blessed blooming chump. Or it’s spirits.” “Neither one thing nor the other,” said the Voice. “Listen!” “Chump,” said Mr. Marvel.