"Your son! Sir, I beg a thousand pardons. I--I--I--" There is nothing I hate more than to see an unfortunate individual in an awkward dilemma. Maybe it is from having so often suffered, that I have a sort of fellow feeling. So, merely repeating to the recent promulgator of the old adage his own words, "Look before you leap," I passed on. N. EPITAPHS.--The shortest, plainest, and truest, are the best. I say the _shortest_, for when a passenger sees a chronicle written upon a tomb, he takes it on trust that some great man lies there buried, without taking pains to examine who it is. Mr Cambden, in his "Remains," presents us with examples of great men who had little epitaphs. And when once a witty gentleman was asked, what epitaph was fittest to be written on Cambden's tomb, "let it be," said he, "Cambden's remains." I say also the _plainest_, for except the sense lie above ground, few will trouble themselves to dig for it. Lastly, it must be _true_; not as in some monuments, where the red veins in the marble may seem to blush at the falsehoods written on it. He was a witty man who first taught a stone to speak, but he was a wicked man who first taught it to lie. A good memory is the best monument; others are subject to casualty and time; and we know that the Pyramids themselves, doting with age, have forgotten the names of their founders.--_Scrap Book._ * * * * * Printed and Published every Saturday by GUNN and CAMERON, at the Office of the General Advertiser, No 6. Church Lane, College Green, Dublin.--Agents:--London: R. GROOMBRIDGE, Panyer Alley, Paternoster Row. Manchester: SIMMS and DINHAM, Exchange Street. Liverpool: J. DAVIES, North John Street. Birmingham: J. DRAKE. Bristol: M. BINGHAM, Broad Street. Edinburgh: FRASER and CRAWFORD, George Street. Glasgow: DAVID ROBERTSON, Trongate. TRANSCRIBERS' NOTES Corrections to punctuation have not been individually documented. End of Project Gutenberg's The Irish Penny Journal, Vol. 1 No. 4, by Various