laughing doon at him; ‘bid up, and nae doot ye’ll get the property.’ The bidding was up to £150. ‘£200,’ cries Jack, the roars o’ the company. ‘£250,’ says another. ‘£300,’ says Jack, and he skellied up at the cant-master in such a fashion as nae living man could stand. You could hae tied the hail gathering wi’ a strae, while Jack kept glowering about and whistling, and beating time to the tune wi’ his heels.” “And what tune did he whistle?” said the doctor. “The diel a mair or less nor ‘the Rogue’s March,’” said the narrator. “But when the roars had subsided, the cant-master, to humour the joke, takes up Jack’s bid, and he says, ‘Three hundred pounds once--three hundred pounds twice--three hundred pounds, three--three--three--all done?--three times!’ and down, in fine, he knocks a property worth three thousand, adding, ‘The place is yours, my man.’ ‘Yes, by my sowl,’ says Jack, springing off the counter, ‘the place _is_ mine;’ and pulling a bag out of a side pocket, and placing it on the table, he added, ‘And there’s your required deposit for you!’ But he may tell the rest himsel.” “And what followed, Mr Rivers?” said the doctor. “Wha-hat followed! Why, you-oo would have thought the fellow was stuck, or af-flicted with _my_ own impediment; but after some attempts he stammered out, ‘Oh, every person knows I was only in jest.’ ‘Ho! ho! my boy,’ said I, ‘but every person here _shall_ know that I ne-ever was more in earnest. If I be a fool, my money’s no fool. Ho! ho! gentlemen, you enjoyed your jokes at my expense; but it’s an old saying, _he may laugh that wins_; the tables a-a-are turned, and it’s my time now, I presume.’” “And, Mr Anderson,” said the doctor, “did all present quietly submit to the imposition?” “Why, to tell the truth, every sowl in the place was dumfoundered, and stared at each other like as mony idiots. The cant-master made some new objection about ruining him, but Jack very glibly replied, ‘The sale is good and lawful. After more than three bids, the property was knocked down to me. The terms have been duly complied with, the deposit tendered before witnesses, and here is the remainder of the purchase money at your service when the deeds are perfected. I grant you were more merry than wise on this occasion; and if you wish to know whom you have to deal with, it may be sufficient to inform you that I am Snap Rivers of the Doaghs; you have likely heard the name before;’ and out he marched as cool as a cucumber.” The rector knew less of his parishioner than did the rest of the party; he therefore listened in amazement to the relation; but when the host had concluded, as if to assure himself that he was not dreaming, he said, “And, Mr Anderson, did all this really occur?” “I’faith I assure you it did.” “And is it possible that you could lend yourself to so nefarious and disreputable a transaction?”