The Irrational Knot: Being the Second Novel of His NonageShaw, Bernard
General
The Irrational Knot: Being the Second Novel of His Nonage
Shaw, Bernard
Marriage -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
Do you know that there have been times when I have been so carried away
with the idea that she must be as tired of the artificiality of our
life as I was, that I have begun to speak my mind frankly to her; and
when she recoiled, hurt and surprised and frightened that I was going
to turn coarse at last, I have shut up and sat there apparently silent,
but really saying under my breath: ‘Why dont you go? Why dont you leave
me, vanish, fly away to your own people? You must be a dream: I never
married you. You dont know me: you cant be my wife: your lungs were not
made to breathe the air I live in.’ I have said a thousand things like
that, and then wondered whether there was any truth in
telepathy—whether she could possibly be having my thoughts transferred
to her mind and thinking it only her imagination. I would ask myself
whether I despised her or not, calling on myself for the truth as if I
did not believe the excuses I made for her out of the fondness I could
not get over. I am fond of her still, sometimes. I did not
really—practically, I mean—despise her until I gave up thinking about
her at all. There was a certain kind of contempt in that indifference,
beyond a doubt: there is no use denying it. Besides, it is proved to me
now by the new respect I feel for her because she has had the courage
and grit to try going away with Douglas. But my love for her is over:
nothing short of her being born over again—a thing that sometimes
happens—will ever bring her into contact with me after this. To put it
philosophically, she made the mistake of avoiding all realities, and
yet marrying herself to the hardest of realities, a working man; so it
was inevitable that she should go back at last to the region of shadows
and mate with that ghostliest of all unrealities, the non-working man.
Perhaps, too, the union may be more fruitful than ours: the cross
between us was too violent. Now you have the whole story from my point
of view. What do you—”
“Hush!” said Elinor, interrupting him. “What is that noise outside?”
The house bell began to ring violently; and they could hear a confused
noise of voices and footsteps without.
“Can she have come back?” said Elinor, starting up.
“Impossible!” said Conolly, looking disturbed for the first time. They
stood a moment listening, with averted eyes. A second peal from the
bell was followed by roars of laughter, amid which a remonstrant voice
was audible. Then the house door was hammered with a stick. Conolly ran
downstairs at once and opened it. On the step he found Marmaduke
reeling in the arms of the Rev. George.
“How are you, ol’ fler?” said Marmaduke, plunging into the hall. “The
parson is tight. I found him tumbling about High Street, and brought
him along.”
“Pray excuse this intrusion,” whispered the Rev. George. “You see the
state he is in. He accosted me near Campden Hill; and I really could
not be seen walking with him into town. I wonder he was not arrested.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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