English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
And now a great fear fell upon Henry of he knew not what. He seemed to
himself to be in the presence of some vast and fearful thing, that was
passing swiftly by; and yet seemed, for all its haste, to have espied
him, and to have been, as it were, stayed by him; there came into his
mind a recollection of how he had once, on a summer's day, joined the
mowers in one of the fields, and had mowed a few swathes with them for
the pleasure of seeing the rich seeded grass fall before the gleaming
scythe. At one of his strokes, he remembered, he had uncovered a little
field-mouse, that sate in the naked field, its high covert having been
swept bare from above it, and watched him with bright eyes of fear,
while he debated whether he should crush it; he had done so, he
remembered, carelessly, with his foot, and now he wished that he had
spared it, for it was even so that he himself felt.
So to strengthen himself in his purpose, he made a prayer aloud, though
it was a thing that in his idle life he had much foregone; and he said:
"Lord God, if Thou indeed hearest and seest me, make me strong to do
what I have a mind to do; I have lived foolishly and for myself, and I
have little to give. I have despised life, and it is as an empty husk to
me. I have put love away from me, and my heart is dry; I have had
friends and I have wearied of them. I have profited nothing; I have
wasted my strength in foolish dreams of pleasure, and I have not found
it. I am as a weed that cumbers the fair earth."
Then he stayed for a moment, for he was afraid; for it seemed to him as
though somewhat stood near to listen. Then he said again:--
"But, Lord, I do indeed love my fellow men a little; and I would have
the waste of life stayed. It is a pitiful thing that I have to offer,
but it is all that I have left--an empty life, which yet I love. I will
not promise, Lord, to yield my life to the service of men, for I love my
ease too well, and I should not keep my word--so I offer my life freely
into Thy hand, and let it avail that which it may avail."
Then the blackness seemed to gather all about him, and he felt with his
hand in the turf and found the sword; then he drew the scabbard off, and
flung it down beside him, and he raised the sword in his hands.
Then it seemed as though the heavens opened above him, but he saw not
the fire, nor heard the shouting of the thunder that followed; he fell
on his face in the turf without a sound and moved no more.
Now it happened that about the time that he unsheathed the sword, it
came into the heart of the king to send a herald to the barons; for he
saw the host spread out below him on the plain, and he feared to meet
them; and the barons, too, were weary of fighting; and the king bound
himself by a great oath to uphold the law of the realm, and so the land
had peace.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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