'Very well.--Now tell me about yourself. Sometimes it does good to talk
about our own troubles. Tell me more about these forgetful fits. Do they
trouble you still?' Her eyes and her voice were soft and winning. One
must be of granite to resist such a voice and such eyes.
'My dear'--Mr. Dering softened. 'You are good to interest yourself in an
old man's ailments. It is Anno Domini that is the matter with me. The
forgetful fits are only symptoms--and the disease is incurable. Ask the
oak why the leaves are yellow.--It is the hand of winter. That is my
complaint. First the hand of winter, then the hand of Death. Meantime,
the voice of the grasshopper sings loud and shrill.' In presence of the
simple things of age and death, even a hard old lawyer grows poetic.
'Tell me the symptoms, then. Do you still forget things?'
'Constantly. More and more. I forget everything.'
'Where were you yesterday evening, for instance?'
'I don't know. I cannot remember. I have left off even trying to
remember. At one time I racked my brain for hours, to find out, and
failed. Now I remember nothing. I never know when this forgetfulness may
fall upon me. At any hour.--For instance--you ask me about yesterday
evening. I ordered dinner at home. My housekeeper this morning reminded
me that I did not get home last night till eleven. Where was I? Where
did I spend the evening?'
'At the Club?'
'No-- I took a cab this morning and drove there under pretence of asking
for letters. I asked if I was there last night. The hall porter stared.
But I was not there. I thought that I might have fallen asleep there. I
have done so before. Checkley tells me that I went away before him.
Where was I?-- Child!'--he leaned forward and whispered, with white
cheeks--'I have read of men going about with disordered brains doing
what they afterwards forget. Am I one of these unfortunates? Do I go
about with my wits wandering? Oh! horrible! I picture to myself an old
man--such as myself--of unblemished reputation and blameless
life--wandering about the streets demented--without conscience--without
dignity--without self-respect--committing follies--things
disgraceful--even things which bring men before the law----' He
shuddered. He turned pale.
'No--no,' murmured Elsie. 'You could not. You could never----'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account