'Such things are on record. They have happened. They may happen again. I
have read of such cases. There was a man once--he was like myself--a
Solicitor--who would go out and do things, not knowing what he did. They
found him out at last doing something so incredibly foolish that there
was but one explanation. In another man and a younger man it would have
been worse than foolish, it would have been criminal. Then they gave him
a companion, and he discovered what he had done. The shame and the shock
of it killed him. I have thought of that man of late. Good Heavens!
Think, if you can, of any worse disaster. Let me die--let me die, I say,
rather than suffer such a fate--such an affliction. I see myself brought
before the magistrate--me--myself--at my age, charged with this and with
that. What defence? None, save that I did not remember.'
'That could never be,' said Elsie confidently, because she knew the
facts. 'If such a thing were to befall, your character would never be
changed. You might talk and think differently, but you could never be
otherwise than a good man. You to haunt low company? Oh! you could not
even in a waking dream. People who dream, I am sure, always remain
themselves, however strangely they may act. How could you--you--after
such a life as yours, become a haunter of low company? One might perhaps
suppose that Athelstan had been living among profligates because he is
young and untried--but you?--you? Oh! no. If you had these waking
dreams--perhaps you have them--you would become--you would become--I
really think you would become'--she watched his face--'such--such a man
as--as--Mr. Edmund Gray, who is so like yourself, and yet so different.'
He started. 'Edmund Gray again? Good Heavens! It is always Edmund Gray!'
'He is now a friend of mine. I have only known him for a week or two. He
does not think quite as you do. But he is a good man. Since, in dreams,
we do strange things, you might act and speak and think as Edmund Gray.'
'I speak and think as---- But--am I dreaming? Am I forgetting again? Am
I awake? Edmund Gray is the man whom we want to find.'
'I have found him,' said Elsie quietly.
'The forger--if he is the forger----'
'No--no. Do not make more mistakes. You shall have the truth in a day or
two. Would you like to see Edmund Gray? Will you come with me to his
Chambers? Whenever you call, you--you, I say--will find him at home.'
'No--no. I know his doctrines--futile doctrines--mischievous doctrines.
I do not wish to meet him. What do you mean by mistakes? There are the
letters--there are the forgeries. Are there two Edmund Grays?'
'No--only one. He is the man they cannot find. I will show you, if you
like, what manner of man he is.'
'No. I do not want to see a Socialist. I should insult him.--You are
mysterious, Elsie. You know this man, this mischievous doctrinaire--this
leveller--this spoliator. You tell me that he is a good man--you want me
to see him. What, I ask, do these things mean?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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