He hurried off to the theatre and found Colman in his most disagreeable
mood. The actor and actress who had resigned their parts were just those
to whom he was looking, Colman declared, to pull the play through. He
could not, however, blame them, he frankly admitted. They were, he said,
dependent for a livelihood upon their association with success on the
stage, and it could not be otherwise than prejudicial to their best
interests to be connected with a failure.
This was too much, even for the long suffering Goldsmith.
“Is it not somewhat premature to talk of the failure of a play that has
not yet been produced, Mr. Colman?” he said.
“It might be in respect to most plays, sir,” replied Colman; “but in
regard to this particular play, I don't think that one need be afraid to
anticipate by a week or two the verdict of the playgoers. Two things in
this world are inevitable, sir: death and the damning of your comedy.”
“I shall try to bear both with fortitude,” said Goldsmith quietly,
though he was inwardly very indignant with the manager for his
gratuitous predictions of failure--predictions which from the first his
attitude in regard to the play had contributed to realise. “I should
like to have a talk with Mrs. Abington and Woodward,” he added.
“They are in the green room,” said the manager. “I must say that I was
in hope, Dr. Goldsmith, that your critical judgment of your own work
would enable you to see your way to withdraw it.”
“I decline to withdraw it, sir,” said Goldsmith.
“I have been a manager now for some years,” said Colman, “and, speaking
from the experience which I have gained at this theatre, I say without
hesitation that I never had a piece offered to me which promised so
complete a disaster as this, sir. Why, 'tis like no other comedy that
was ever wrote.”
“That is a feature which I think the playgoers will not be slow to
appreciate,” said Goldsmith. “Good Lord! Mr. Colman, cannot you see that
what the people want nowadays is a novelty?”
“Ay, sir; but there are novelties and novelties, and this novelty of
yours is not to their taste.'T is not a comedy of the pothouse that's
the novelty genteel people want in these days; and mark my words,
sir, the bringing on of that vulgar young boor--what's the fellow's
name?--Lumpkin, in his pothouse, and the unworthy sneers against the
refinement and sensibility of the period--the fellow who talks of his
bear only dancing to the genteelest of tunes--all this, Dr. Goldsmith,
I pledge you my word and reputation as a manager, will bring about an
early fall of the curtain.”
“An early fall of the curtain?”
“Even so, sir; for the people in the house will not permit another scene
beyond that of your pothouse to be set.”
“Let me tell you, Mr. Colman, that the Three Pigeons is an hostelry, not
a pothouse.”
“The playgoers will damn it if it were e'en a Bishop's palace.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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