“That was my belief, too,” said she. “But alas! it was a delusion. So
soon as he found out that I had escaped from him, he showed himself in
his true colours. He wrote threatening to send the letters which I
had been foolish enough to write to him, to my friends--he was even
scoundrel enough to point out that I had in my innocence written certain
passages which were susceptible of being interpreted as evidence of
guilt--nay, his letter in which he did so took it for granted that I had
been guilty, so that I could not show it as evidence of his falsehood.
What was left for me to do? I wrote to him imploring him to return to
me those letters. I asked him how he could think it consistent with his
honour to retain them and to hold such an infamous threat over my head.
Alas! he soon gave me to understand that I had but placed myself more
deeply in his power.”
“The scoundrel!”
“Oh! scoundrel! I made an excuse for coming back to London, though I had
meant to stay in Devonshire until the end of the year.”
“And 'twas then you thanked me for the book.”
“I had good reason to do so. For some months I was happy, believing
that I had escaped from my persecutor. How happy we were when in France
together! But then--ah! you know the rest. My distress is killing me--I
cannot sleep at night. I start a dozen times a day; every time the bell
rings I am in trepidation.”
“Great Heaven! Is 't possible that you are miserable solely on this
account?” cried Goldsmith.
“Is there not sufficient reason for my misery?” she asked. “What did he
say to me that night in the green room? He told me that he would give me
a fortnight to accede to his demands; if I failed he swore to print my
letters in full, introducing my name so that every one should know who
had written them.”
“And his terms?” asked Goldsmith in a whisper.
“His terms? I cannot tell you--I cannot tell you. The very thought that
I placed myself in such a position as made it possible for me to have
such an insult offered to me makes me long for death.”
“By God! 'tis he who need to prepare for death!” cried Goldsmith, “for I
shall kill him, even though the act be called murder.”
“No--no!” she said, laying a hand upon his arm. “No friend of mine must
suffer for my folly. I dare not speak a word of this to my brother for
fear of the consequences. That wretch boasted to me of having laid his
plans so carefully that, if any harm were to come to him, the letters
would still be printed. He said he had heard of my friends, and declared
that if he were approached by any of them nothing should save me from
being made the talk of the town. I was terrified by the threat, but I
determined to-day to tell you my pitiful story in the hope--the forlorn
hope--that you might be able to help me. Tell me--tell me, my dear
friend, if you can see any chance of escape for me except that of which
poor Olivia sang: 'The only way her guilt to cover.'”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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