ADMIRAL LORD HOWE, when a captain, was once hastily awakened in the middle of the night by the lieutenant of the watch, who informed him with great agitation that the ship was on fire near the magazine. "If that be the case," said he, rising leisurely to put on his clothes, "we shall soon know it." The lieutenant flew back to the scene of danger, and almost instantly returning, exclaimed, "You need not, sir, be afraid, the fire is extinguished."--"Afraid!" exclaimed Howe, "what do you mean by that, sir? I never was afraid in my life"; and looking the lieutenant full in the face, he added, "Pray, how does a man feel, sir, when he is afraid? _I need not ask how he looks_." LIV.--NOTHING BUT THE "BILL." JOHN HORNE TOOKE'S opinion upon the subject of law was admirable. "Law," he said, "ought to be, not a luxury for the rich, but a remedy, to be easily, cheaply, and speedily obtained by the poor." A person observed to him, how excellent are the English laws, because they are impartial, and our courts of justice are open to all persons without distinction. "And so," said Tooke, "is the _London Tavern_, to such as can afford to _pay for their entertainment_." LV.--AN EXTINGUISHER. WHILE Commodore Anson's ship, the Centurion, was engaged in close fight, with the rich Spanish galleon, which he afterwards took, a sailor came running to him, and cried out, "Sir, our ship is on fire very near the powder magazine."--"Then pray, friend," said the commodore, not in the least degree discomposed, "_run back and assist in putting it out_." LVI.--A BAD SHOT. A COCKNEY being out one day amusing himself with shooting, happened to fire through a hedge, on the other side of which was a man standing. The shot passed through the man's hat, but missed the bird. "Did you fire at me, sir?" he hastily asked. "O! no, sir," said the shrewd sportsman, "I _never hit_ what I fire at." LVII.--WISE PRECAUTION. IT is related of the great Dr. Clarke, that when in one of his leisure hours he was unbending himself with a few friends in the most playful and frolicsome manner, he observed Beau Nash approaching; upon which he suddenly stopped: "My boys," said he, "let us be _grave_: here comes a _fool_." LVIII.--A TRUMP CARD. AT one of the Holland-house Sunday dinner-parties, a year or two ago, Crockford's Club, then forming, was talked of; and the noble hostess observed, that the female passion for diamonds was surely less ruinous than the rage for play among men. "In short, you think," said Mr. Rogers, "that _clubs_ are worse than _diamonds_." This joke excited a laugh; and when it had subsided, Sydney Smith wrote the following _impromptu_ sermonet--most appropriately _on a card_:-- Thoughtless that "all that's brightest fades," Unmindful of that _Knave of Spades_, The Sexton and his Subs: How foolishly we play our parts! Our _wives_ on _diamonds_ set their _hearts_, _We_ set our _hearts_ on _clubs_!