A COWARDLY fellow having spoken impertinently to a gentleman, received a violent box of the ear. He demanded whether that was meant in _earnest_. "Yes, sir," replied the other, without hesitation. The coward turned away, saying, "I am glad of it, sir, for I do not like such _jests_." DCCL.--PERT. MACKLIN was once annoyed at Foote laughing and talking just as the former was about to begin a lecture. "Well, sir, you seem to be very merry there; but do you know what I am going to say now?" asked Macklin. "No, sir," said Foote, "pray, _do you_?" DCCLI.--A ROYAL MUFF. THE following anecdote was told with great glee at a dinner by William IV., then Duke of Clarence: "I was riding in the Park the other day, on the road between Teddington and Hampton-wick, when I was overtaken by a butcher's boy, on horseback, with a tray of meat under his arm.--'Nice pony that of yours, old gentleman,' said he.--'Pretty fair,' was my reply.--'Mine's a good 'un too,' rejoined he; 'and I'll trot you to Hampton-wick for a pot o' beer.' I declined the match; and the butcher's boy, as he stuck his single spur into his horse's side, exclaimed, with a look of contempt, 'I thought you were only a _muff_!'" DCCLII.--A BROAD HINT. AN eminent barrister having a case sent to him for an opinion--the case being outrageously preposterous--replied, in answer to the question, "Would an action lie?"--"Yes, if the witnesses would _lie_ too, but not otherwise." DCCLIII.--A TASTE OF MARRIAGE. A GENTLEMAN described to Jerrold the bride of a mutual friend. "Why, he is six foot high, and she is the shortest woman I ever saw. What taste, eh?" "Ay," Jerrold replied, "and only a taste!" DCCLIV.--"THE LAST WAR." MR. PITT, speaking in the House of Commons of the glorious war which preceded the disastrous one in which we lost the colonies, called it "the last war." Several members cried out, "The last war but one." He took no notice; and soon after, repeating the mistake, he was interrupted by a general cry of "The last war but one,--the last war but one."--"I mean, sir," said Mr. Pitt, turning to the speaker, and raising his sonorous voice,--"I mean, sir, the last war that Britons would wish _to remember_." Whereupon the cry was instantly changed into an universal cheering, long and loud. DCCLV.--THE PHILANTHROPIST. JERROLD hated the cant of philanthropy, and writhed whenever he was called a philanthropist in print. On one occasion, when he found himself so described, he exclaimed, "Zounds, it tempts a man to kill a child, to get rid of the reputation." DCCLVI.--TOO MUCH OF A BAD THING.