CHARLES THE SECOND once said to Sidney, "Look me out a man that can't be corrupted: I have sent three treasurers to the North, and they have all turned thieves."--"Well, sire, I will recommend Mivert."--"Mivert!" exclaimed the king, "why, Mivert is a thief already."--"Therefore _he cannot be corrupted_, your majesty," answered Sidney. DCCLXXXIX.--EPIGRAM ON THE MARRIAGE OF A VERY THIN COUPLE. ST. PAUL has declared that, when persons, though twain, Are in wedlock united, one flesh they remain. But had he been by, when, like Pharaoh's kine pairing, Dr. Douglas, of Benet, espoused Miss Mainwaring, St. Peter, no doubt, would have altered his tone, And have said, "These two splinters shall now make one bone." DCCXC.--GOOD AUTHORITY. HORNE TOOKE, during his contest for Westminster, was thus addressed by a partisan of his opponent, of not a very reputable character. "Well, Mr. Tooke, you will have all the _blackguards_ with you to-day."--"I am delighted to hear it, sir, and from such _good_ authority." DCCXCI.--LUXURIOUS SMOKING. "THE most luxurious smoker I ever knew," says Mr. Paget, "was a young Transylvanian, who told me that his servant always inserted a lighted pipe into his mouth the first thing in the morning, and that he smoked it out before he awoke. 'It is so pleasant,' he observed, 'to have the proper _taste_ restored to one's mouth before one is sensible even of its wants.'" DCCXCII.--NO JUDGE. A CERTAIN Judge having somewhat hastily delivered judgment in a particular case, a King's Counsel observed, in a tone loud enough to reach the bench, "Good heavens! every judgment of this court is a mere _toss-up_." "But _heads_ seldom win," observed a learned barrister, sitting behind him. DCCXCIII.--RELATIONS OF MANKIND. BY what curious links, and fantastical relations, are mankind connected together! At the distance of half the globe, a Hindoo gains his support by groping at the bottom of the sea for the morbid concretion of a shell-fish, to decorate the throat of a London alderman's wife.--S.S. DCCXCIV.--VERY TRUE. SERJEANT MAYNARD, a famous lawyer in the days of the Stuarts, called law an "_ars bablativa_." DCCXCV.--EPIGRAM. (Accounting for the apostacy of ministers.) THE Whigs, because they rat and change To Toryism, all must spurn; Yet in the fact there's nothing strange, That Wigs should twist, or curl, or turn. DCCXCVI.--DRINKING ALONE. THE author of the "Parson's Daughter," when surprised one evening in his arm-chair, two or three hours after dinner, is reported to have apologized, by saying, "When one is alone, the bottle _does_ come round _so_ often." On a similar occasion, Sir Hercules Langreish, on being asked, "Have you finished all that port (three bottles) without assistance?" answered, "No--not quite that--I had the _assistance_ of a bottle of Madeira." DCCXCVII.--A MUSICAL BLOW-UP.