LORD ERSKINE having once asserted, in the presence of Lady Erskine and Mr. Sheridan, that a wife was only a tin canister tied to one's tail, Sheridan at once presented her these lines,-- Lord Erskine at woman presuming to rail, Calls a wife "a tin canister tied to one's tail;" And fair Lady Anne, while the subject he carries on, Seems hurt at his lordship's degrading comparison. But wherefore "degrading?" Considered aright, A canister's useful, and polished, and bright; And should dirt its original purity hide, 'Tis the fault of the puppy to whom it is tied. DCCCXXVI.--LAW AND PHYSIC. A LEARNED judge being asked the difference between law and equity courts, replied, "At common law you are done for at once: at equity, you are not so easily disposed of. One is _prussic acid_, and the other _laudanum_." DCCCXXVII.--IMPROMPTU. COUNSELLOR (afterwards Chief Justice) BUSHE, being on one occasion asked which of a company of actors he most admired, maliciously replied, "The _prompter_, sir, for I have heard the most and seen the least _of him_." DCCCXXVIII.--NOTIONS OF HAPPINESS. "WERE I but a _king_," said a country boy, "I would _eat_ my fill of fat bacon, and _swing_ upon a gate all day long." DCCCXXIX.--A FORGETFUL MAN. WHEN Jack was poor, the lad was frank and free. Of late he's grown brimful of pride and pelf; No wonder that he don't remember _me_; Why so? you see he has forgot _himself_. DCCCXXX.--REPUTATION. REPUTATION is to notoriety what real turtle is to mock. DCCCXXXI.--AN UNFORTUNATE LOVER. IT was asked by a scholar why Master Thomas Hawkins did not marry Miss Blagrove; he was answered, "He couldn't _master_ her, so he _missed_ her." DCCCXXXII.--EPIGRAM. THE jolly members of a toping club Like pipe-staves are, but hooped into a tub; And in a close confederacy link For nothing else, but only to hold drink. DCCCXXXIII.--A BAD LOT. THE household furniture of an English barrister, then recently deceased, was being sold, in a country town, when one neighbor remarked to another that the stock of goods and chattels appeared to be extremely scanty, considering the rank of the lawyer, their late owner. "It is so," was the reply; "but the fact is, he had very few _causes_, and therefore could not have many _effects_." DCCCXXXIV.--FILIAL AFFECTION. TWO ladies who inhabit Wapping were having some words together on the pavement, when the daughter of one of them popped her head out of the door, and exclaimed "Hurry, mother, and call _her a thief_ before she calls you one." DCCCXXXV.--LEG WIT. ONE night Erskine was hastening out of the House of Commons, when he was stopped by a member going in, who accosted him, "Who's up, Erskine?"--"Windham," was the reply. "What's he on?"--"_His legs_," answered the wit. DCCCXXXVI.--EPIGRAM ON DR. GLYNN'S BEAUTY.