LORD KAMES used to relate a story of a man who claimed the honor of his acquaintance on rather singular grounds. His lordship, when one of the justiciary judges, returning from the north circuit to Perth, happened one night to sleep at Dunkeld. The next morning, walking towards the ferry, but apprehending he had missed his way, he asked a man whom he met to conduct him. The other answered with much cordiality: "That I will do, with all my heart, my lord; does not your lordship remember me? My name's John ----; I have had the honor to be before your lordship for stealing sheep?"--"Oh, John, I remember you well; and how is your wife? she had the honor to be before me, too, for receiving them, knowing them to be stolen."--"At your lordship's service. We were very lucky, we got off for want of evidence; and I am still going on in the butcher trade."--"Then," replied his lordship, "we may have the honor of _meeting again_." LXV.--A LATE EDITION. IT was with as much delicacy as satire that Porson returned, with the manuscript of a friend, the answer, "That it would be read when Homer and Virgil were forgotten, _but not till then_." LXVI.--VERSES WRITTEN ON A WINDOW IN THE HIGHLANDS OF SCOTLAND. SCOTLAND! thy weather's like a modish wife, Thy winds and rains for ever are at strife; So termagant awhile her thunder tries, And when she can no longer scold, she cries. LXVII.--THREE TOUCHSTONES. AN ancient sage uttered the following apothegm:--"The goodness of gold is tried by fire, the goodness of women by gold, and the goodness of men by the ordeal of women." LXVIII.--A DIALOGUE. _Pope._ SINCE my old friend is grown so great, As to be minister of state, I'm told (but 'tis not true I hope) That Craggs will be ashamed of Pope. _Craggs._ ALAS! if I am such a creature, To grow the worse for growing greater, Why, faith, in spite of all my brags, 'Tis Pope must be ashamed of Craggs. LXIX.--BEAR AND VAN. THE facetious Mr. Bearcroft told his friend Mr. Vansittart, "Your name is such a long one, I shall drop the _sittart_, and call you _Van_ for the future."--"With all my heart," said he: "by the same rule, I shall drop _croft_, and call you _Bear_!" LXX.--EPITAPH FOR SIR JOHN VANBRUGH. LIE heavy on him, Earth! for he Laid many heavy loads on thee! LXXI.--PROVING THEIR METAL. WHEN the Prince of Orange, afterwards William the Third, came over to this country, five of the seven bishops who were sent to the Tower declared for his highness; but the other two would not come into the measures. Upon which Dryden said, that "the seven golden candlesticks them proved _prince's metal_." LXXII.--A DISTANT PROSPECT.