GEORGE II., who was fond of Whiston the philosopher, one day, during his persecution, said to him, that, however right he might be in his opinions, he had better suppress them. "Had Martin Luther _done so_," replied the philosopher, "your majesty would not have been on the throne of England." MCLL.--THE PLURAL NUMBER. A BOY being asked what was the plural of "penny," replied, with great promptness and simplicity, "_two-pence_." MCLII.--MAULE-PRACTICE. A MAN having broken open a young lady's jewel-case (the offence was differently described in the indictment), pleaded that he had done so with consent. "In the future," said Mr. Justice Maule, "When you receive a lady's consent under similar circumstances, get it, if possible, _in writing_." MCLIII.--VERY LIKELY. AN English officer lost his leg at the battle of Vittoria, and after suffering amputation with the greatest courage, thus addressed his servant who was crying, or pretending to cry, in one corner of the room, "None of your hypocritical tears, you idle dog; you know you are very glad, for now you will have only _one boot_ to clean instead of _two_." MCLIV.--MUCH ALIKE. A SAILOR was asked, "Where did your father die?"--"In a storm," answered the sailor. "And your grandfather?"--"He was drowned."--"And your great-grandfather?"--"He perished at sea."--"How, then," said the questioner, "dare you go to sea, since all your ancestors perished there? You needs must be very rash."--"Master," replied the sailor, "do me the favor of telling me where your father died?"--"Very comfortably in a bed."--"And your forefathers?"--"In the same manner,--very quietly in their beds."--"Ah! master," replied the sailor, "how, then, dare you _go to bed_, since all your ancestors died in it?" MCLV.--A GOOD WIFE. A VERY excellent lady was desired by another to teach her what secrets she had to preserve her husband's favor. "It is," replied she, "by doing all that _pleases_ him, and by enduring patiently all that _displeases_ me." MCLVI.--WELLINGTON SURPRISED. A NOBLEMAN ventured, in a moment of conviviality at his grace's table, to put this question to him: "Allow me to ask, as we are all here titled, if you were not SURPRISED at Waterloo?" To which the duke responded, "No; but I am NOW." MCLVII.--TOO CLEVER. A COUNTRY boy endeavored, to the utmost of his power, to make himself useful, and avoid being frequently told of many trifling things, as country lads generally are. His master having sent him down stairs for two bottles of wine, he said to him, "Well, John, have you _shook them_?"--"No, sir; but I will," he replied, suiting the action to the word. MCLVIII.--A LIGHT JOKE.