MRS. B---- desired Dr. Johnson to give his opinion of a new work she had just written, adding, that if it would not do, she begged him to tell her, for she had other _irons in the fire_, and in case of its not being likely to succeed, she could bring out something else. "Then," said the doctor, after having turned over a few of the leaves, "I advise you, madam, to put it where your _other irons_ are." MCLXVII.--ORATORY. AT the time when Sir Richard Steele was preparing his great room in York Buildings for public orations, he was behindhand in his payments to the workmen; and coming one day among them, to see what progress they made, he ordered the carpenter to get into the rostrum, and speak anything that came uppermost, that he might observe how it could be heard. "Why then, Sir Richard," says the fellow, "here have we been working for you these six months, and cannot get one penny of money. Pray, sir, when do you mean to pay us?"--"Very well, very well," said Sir Richard; "pray come down; I have _heard_ quite enough; I cannot but own you speak very distinctly, though I don't much _admire your subject_." MCLXVIII.--SOLDIERS' WIVES. THE late Duchess of York having desired her housekeeper to seek out a new laundress, a decent-looking woman was recommended to the situation. "But," said the housekeeper, "I am afraid she will not suit your royal highness, as she is _a soldier's wife_, and these people are generally _loose characters_!"--"What is it you say?" said the duke, who had just entered the room, "_a soldier's wife_! Pray, madam, _what is your mistress_? I desire that the woman may be immediately engaged." MCLXIX.--NO JOKE. A GENTLEMAN, finding his grounds trespassed on and robbed, set up a board in a most conspicuous situation, to scare offenders, by the notification that "Steel-traps and Spring-guns are set in these Grounds";--but finding that even this was treated with contempt, he caused to be painted, in very prominent letters, underneath,--"NO JOKE, BY THE LORD HARRY!" which had the desired effect. MCLXX.--A GOOD LIKENESS. A PERSON who had often teased another ineffectually for subscriptions to charitable undertakings, was one day telling him that he had just seen his picture. "And did you ask it for a subscription?" said the non-giver. "No, I saw no chance," replied the other; "it was _so like you_." MCLXXI.--CUTTING AN ACQUAINTANCE. GEORGE SELWYN, happening to be at Bath when it was nearly empty, was induced, for the mere purpose of killing time, to cultivate the acquaintance of an elderly gentleman he was in the habit of meeting at the Rooms. In the height of the following season, Selwyn encountered his old associate in St. James's street. He endeavored to pass unnoticed, but in vain. "What! don't you recollect me?" exclaimed the _cuttee_. "I recollect you perfectly," replied Selwyn; "and when I next go to Bath, I shall be most happy to become acquainted _with you again_."