WHO was then Archbishop of Canterbury, on King William's complaining of the shortness of his sermon, answered, "Sire, could I have bestowed more time upon it, it would not have been _so long_!" MCCLXXXV.--IMPORTANT TO BACHELORS. SOME clever fellow has invented a new kind of ink, called "the love-letter ink." It is a sure preventive against all cases of "breach of promise," as the ink _fades away_, and leaves the sheet blank, in about four weeks after being written upon. MCCLXXXVI.--CHIN-SURVEYING. A PERSON not far from Torrington, Devon, whose face is somewhat above the ordinary dimensions, has been waited on and shaved by a certain barber every day for twenty-one years, without coming to any regular settlement; the tradesman, thinking it time to wind up the account, carried in his bill, charging one penny per day, which amounted to 31l. 9s. 2d. The gentleman, thinking this rather exorbitant, made some scruple about payment, when the tonsor proposed, if his customer thought proper, to charge by the acre, at the rate of 200l. This was readily agreed to, and on measuring the premises, 192 square inches proved to be the contents, which, traversed over 7670 times, would measure 1,472,640 inches, the charge for which would be 46l. 19s. 1d.--being 15l. 9s. 11d. in favor of _chin-surveying_. MCCLXXXVII.--CHANGING HATS. BARRY the painter was with Nollekens at Rome in 1760, and they were extremely intimate. Barry took the liberty one night, when they were about to leave the English coffee-house, to exchange hats with him. Barry's was edged with lace, and Nollekens's was a very shabby, plain one. Upon his returning the hat the next morning, he was asked by Nollekens why he left him his gold-laced hat. "Why, to tell you the truth, my dear Joey," answered Barry, "I fully expected assassination last night; and I was to have been known by _my laced hat_." Nollekens used to relate the story, adding, "It's what the Old-Bailey people would call a true bill against Jem." MCCLXXXVIII.--POWDER WITHOUT BALL. DR. GOODALL, of Eton, about the same time that he was made Provost of Eton, received also a Stall at Windsor. A young lady, whilst congratulating him on his elevation, and requesting him to give a ball during the vacation, happened to touch his wig with her fan, and caused the powder to fly about; upon which the doctor exclaimed, "My dear, you see you can get the powder out of the _cannon_, but not the _ball_." MCCLXXXIX.--POPE'S LAST ILLNESS.