UPON the occasion of the birth of the Princess Royal, the Duke of Wellington was in the act of leaving Buckingham Palace, when he met Lord Hill; in answer to whose inquiries about Her Majesty and the little stranger, his grace replied, "Very fine child, and very red, very red; nearly as red as you, _Hill_!" a jocose allusion to Lord Hill's claret complexion. MCCCXIV.--WHITE HANDS. IN a country market a lady, laying her hand upon a joint of veal, said, "Mr. Smallbone, I think this veal is not quite so white as usual."--"_Put on your gloves_, madam," replied the butcher, "and you will think differently." The lady did so, and the veal was ordered home immediately. MCCCXV.--TRUE TO THE LETTER. IT may be all very well to say that the office of a tax-gatherer needs no great ability for the fulfilment of its duties, but there is no employment which requires such constant _application_. MCCCXVI.--SIR WALTER SCOTT AND CONSTABLE. SCOTT is known to have profited much by Constable's bibliographical knowledge, which was very extensive. The latter christened "Kenilworth," which Scott named "Cumnor Hall." John Ballantyne objected to the former title, and told Constable the result would be "something worthy of the kennel"; but the result proved the reverse. Mr. Cadell relates that Constable's vanity boiled over so much at this time, on having his suggestions gone into, that, in his high moods, he used to stalk up and down his room, and exclaim, "By Jove, I am _all but_ the author of the Waverley Novels!" MCCCXVII.--TRUE PHILOSOPHY. LE SAGE, the author of Gil Blas, said, to console himself for his deafness, with his usual humor, "When I go into a company where I find a great number of blockheads and babblers, I replace my trumpet in my pocket, and cry, 'Now, gentlemen, _I defy_ you all.'" MCCCXVIII.--ANSWERED AT ONCE. A SCOTCH clergyman preaching a drowsy sermon, asked, "What is _the price_ of earthly pleasure?" The deacon, a fat grocer, woke up hastily from a sound sleep, and cried out, lustily, "Seven-and-sixpence a dozen!" MCCCXIX.--A DEADLY WEAPON. "WELL, sir," asked a noisy disputant, "don't you think that I have _mauled_ my antagonist to some purpose?"--"O yes," replied a listener, "you have,--and if ever I should happen to fight with the Philistines, I'll borrow _your jaw-bone_!" MCCCXX.--EQUALITY OF THE LAW. THE following cannot be omitted from a _Jest Book_, although somewhat lengthy:--