A WELL-FED rector was advising a poor starving laborer to trust to Providence, and be satisfied with his _lot_. "Ah!" replied the needy man, "I should be satisfied with his _lot_ if I had it, but I can't get even a _little_." MCCCLXII.--TO LADY, MOUNT E----, ON THE DEATH OF A FAVORITE PIG. O DRY that tear so round and big, Nor waste in sighs your precious wind; Death only takes _a single pig_-- Your _lord and son_ are still behind. MCCCLXIII.--NATURAL. MRS. SMITH, hearing strange sounds, inquired of her new servant if she snored in her sleep. "I don't know, marm," replied Becky, quite innocently; "I never _lay awake_ long enough to diskiver." MCCCLXIV.--BROTHERLY LOVE. AN affectionate Irishman once enlisted in the 75th Regiment, in order to be near his brother, who was a corporal _in the 76th_. MCCCLXV.--A DISTRESSFUL DENOUEMENT. MR. MOORE having been long under a prosecution in Doctors' Commons, his proctor called on him one day whilst he was composing the tragedy of _The Gamester_. The proctor having sat down, he read him four acts of the piece, being all he had written; by which the man of law was so affected, that he exclaimed, "Good! good! can you add to this couple's distress in the last act?"--"O, very easily," said the poet, "I intend to _put them into the Ecclesiastical Court_." MCCCLXVI.--CONSERVATIVE LOGIC. "TAXES are equal is a dogma which I'll prove at once," exclaimed a Tory boor; "Taxation _hardly presses_ on the rich, And likewise _presses hardly_ on the poor." MCCCLXVII.--THE BEST WINE. SHERIDAN being asked what wine he liked best, replied, "The wine of _other people_." MCCCLXVIII.--A VALUABLE BEAVER. A GRAND entertainment taking place at Belvoir Castle, on the occasion of the coming of age of the Marquis of Granby, the company were going out to see the fireworks, when Theodore Hook came in great tribulation to the Duke of Rutland, who was standing near Sir Robert Peel, and said: "Now isn't this provoking? I've lost my hat. What can I do?"--"Why did you part with your hat? I never do," said his Grace. "Ay!" rejoined Theodore, "but you have especial good reasons for sticking to _your Beaver_" (Belvoir). MCCCLXIX.--SOMETHING TO POCKET. A DIMINUTIVE lawyer appearing as witness in one of the Courts, was asked by a gigantic counsellor what profession he was of; and having replied that he was an attorney,--"You a lawyer!" said Brief; "why I could put you in my pocket."--"Very likely you may," rejoined the other; "and if you do, you will have more law in your _pocket_ than ever you had in your _head_." MCCCLXX.--UP AND DOWN.