A FELLOW on the quay, thinking to _quiz_ a poor Irishman, asked him, "How do the potatoes eat now, Pat?" The Irish lad, who happened to have a _shillalah_ in his hand, answered, "O! they eat very well, my jewel, would you like to taste the _stalk_?" and knocking the inquirer down, coolly walked off. CXXIII.--DOG-MATIC. IN the great dispute between South and Sherlock, the latter, who was a great courtier, said, "His adversary reasoned well, but he barked like a cur." To which the other replied, "That _fawning_ was the property of a cur as well as barking." CXXIV.--FALSE QUANTITY. A LEARNED counsel in the Exchequer spoke of a _nolle prosequi_. "Consider, sir," said Baron Alderson, "that this is the last day of term, and don't make things _unnecessarily long_." CXXV.--IN SUSPENSE. THE sloth, in its wild state, spends its life in trees, and never leaves them but from force or accident. The eagle to the sky, the mole to the ground, the sloth to the tree; but what is most extraordinary, he lives not _upon_ the branches, but _under_ them. He moves suspended, rests suspended, sleeps suspended, and passes his life in suspense,--like a young clergyman _distantly related_ to a bishop. CXXVI.--PORSON'S VISIT TO THE CONTINENT. SOON after Professor Porson returned from a visit to the Continent, at a party where he happened to be present, a gentleman solicited a sketch of his journey. Porson immediately gave the following extemporaneous one: "I went to Frankfort and got drunk With that most learned professor, Brunck; I went to Worts and got more drunken With that more learned professor, Ruhnken." CXXVII.--ARTIFICIAL HEAT. THE late Lord Kelly had a very red face. "Pray, my lord," said Foote to him, "come and _look over_ my garden-wall,--my cucumbers are very backward." CXXVIII.--OUTWARD APPEARANCE. MAN is a sort of tree which we are too apt to judge of by the bark. CXXIX.--THE TWO SMITHS. A GENTLEMAN, with the same Christian and surname, took lodgings in the same house with James Smith. The consequence was, eternal confusion of calls and letters. Indeed, the postman had no alternative but to share the letters equally between the two. "This is intolerable, sir," said our friend, "and you must quit."--"Why am I to quit more than you?"--"Because you are James the Second--and must _abdicate_." CXXX.--SAGE ADVICE. THE advice given by an Irishman to his English friend, on introducing him to a regular Tipperary row, was, "Wherever you see a head, _hit it_." CXXXI.--THE PURSER.