WHEN Sir Thomas More was brought a prisoner to the Tower, the lieutenant, who had formerly received many favors from him, offered him "suche poore cheere" as he had; to which the ex-chancellor replied, "Assure yourself, master lieutenant, I do not mislike my cheer; but whensoever so I do, _then thrust me out of your doors_." MDCXVII.--POLITICAL LOGIC. IF two decided negatives will make Together one affirmative, let's take P----t's and L----t's, each a rogue _per se_, Who by this rule an honest pair will be. MDCXVIII.--A WISE DECISION. A GENTLEMAN going to take water at Whitehall stairs, cried out, as he came near the place, "Who can swim?"--"I, master," said forty bawling mouths; when the gentleman observing one slinking away, called after him; but the fellow turning about, said, "Sir, I cannot swim,"--"Then you are my man," said the gentleman, "for you will at least _take care of me for your own sake_." MDCXIX.--A POINT NEEDING TO BE SETTLED. A SCOTTISH minister being one day engaged in visiting some members of his flock, came to the door of a house where his gentle tapping could not be heard for the noise of contention within. After waiting a little he opened the door and walked in, saying, with an authoritative voice, "I should like to know who is the head of this house?"--"Weel, sir," said the husband and father, "if ye sit doon a wee, we'll maybe be able to tell ye, for we're _just trying to settle that point_." MDCXX.--A POOR LAUGH. CURRAN was just rising to cross-examine a witness before a judge who was familiar with the dry-as-dust black-letter law books, but could never comprehend a jest, when the witness began to laugh before the learned counsel had asked him a question. "What are you laughing at, friend," said Curran, "what are you laughing at? Let me tell you that a laugh without a joke is like--is like--"--"Like what, Mr. Curran," asked the judge, imagining he was at fault. "Just exactly, my lord, like a _contingent remainder_ without any particular _estate_ to support it." MDCXXI.--AN ANTICIPATED CALAMITY. ON the departure of Bishop Selwyn for his diocese, New Zealand, Sydney Smith, when taking his leave of him, said: "Good by, my dear Selwyn; I hope you will not _disagree_ with the man who eats you!" MDCXXII.--MATRIMONY. "MY dear, what makes you always yawn?" The wife exclaimed, her temper gone, "Is home so dull and dreary?" "Not so, my love," he said, "Not so; But man and wife are _one_, you know; And when _alone_ I'm weary!" MDCXXIII.--DRY, BUT NOT THIRSTY.