CURRAN, conversing with Sir Thomas Turton, happened to remark that he could never speak in public for a quarter of an hour without moistening his lips; to which Sir Thomas replied that, in that respect, he had the advantage of him: "I spoke," said he, "the other night in the House of Commons for five hours, on the Nabob of Oude, and never felt in the least thirsty."--"It _is_ very remarkable indeed" rejoined Curran, "for every one agrees that was the _driest_ speech of the session." MDCXXIV.--SHAKESPEARIAN GROG. AS for the brandy, "nothing extenuate,"--and the water, "put naught in, in malice." MDCXXV.--A JURY CASE. CURRAN, speaking of his loss of business in the Court of Chancery caused by Lord Clare's hostility to him, and of the consequent necessity of resuming _nisi prius_ business, said: "I had been under full sail to fortune; but the tempest came, and nearly wrecked me, and ever since I have been only bearing up under _jury_-masts." MDCXXVI.--SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR. LORD ALVANLEY, after his duel with young O'Connell, gave a guinea to the hackney-coachman who had driven him to and from the scene of the encounter. The man, surprised at the largeness of the sum, said, "My Lord, I only took you to--" Alvanley interrupted him with, "My friend, the guinea is for _bringing me back_, not for taking me out." MDCXXVII.--"THE RULING PASSION STRONG IN DEATH." A DYING miser sent for his solicitor, and said, "Now begin, and I will dictate particulars."--"I give and I bequeath," commenced the man of law. "No, no," interrupted the testator; "I do nothing of the kind; I will never give or bequeath anything: I cannot do it."--"Well, then," suggested the attorney, after some consideration, "suppose you say, 'I _lend_, until the last day?'"--"Yes, yes, _that will do_," eagerly rejoined the miser. MDCXXVIII.--AN ENDLESS TASK. WHO seeks to please all men each way, And not himself offend, He may begin his work to-day, But who knows when he'll end? MDCXXIX.--PROFESSIONAL RECOGNITION. MISS KELLY standing one day in the street, enjoying the vagaries of punch with the rest of the crowd, the showman came up to her and solicited a contribution. She was not very ready in answering the demand, when the fellow, taking care to make her understand that he knew who she was, exclaimed, "Ah! it's all over with the _drama_, if we don't encourage one another." MDCXXX.--A CELESTIAL VISION. QUIN, being asked by a lady why there were more women in the world than men, replied, "It is in conformity with the other arrangements of Nature, madam; we always see more of _heaven than earth_." MDCXXXI.--DESTITUTION OF THE SMITH FAMILY.